I've just admitted what my phobia is and I think my DH thinks I'm crazy.

[snufflehuff]

I'm scared of sink holes. Ok, so nobody likes sink holes, right? But it literally keeps me awake EVERY NIGHT. I don't sleep until about 2am because I worry about a sink hole opening up under our home.
I've been nagging him to find out how much we can afford in order to move house because I'm paranoid that it's going to happen here. I started crying and admitted to him what my problem is.
This isn't normal, is it? There is subsidence a few streets away so as much as I might recognise that this is silly, I also feel it's a real possibility.

It's not normal. And if you did move wouldn't you find a reason to worry about the new location. You need to seek help for the anxiety/phobia not uproot the family.

It's not normal, was there something in particular that started you worrying about this?

(And if it helps, I studied geology, have lived all round the country and read/watched a lot about sinkholes, and never worried once, it's not something we're tremendously prone to here. And subsidence can be caused under numerous ground conditions, rarely sinkholes).

We live in a new estate in a former chalk pit. I just have this idea that it's more unstable. A) because it's chalk and b) because it's a newish development. The houses haven't been there for so long that the area is 'proven' to be safe. It's new, anything could happen because it's not established.

*DamsonGin
*
we have 1 road in/out of this quarry. Several years ago (2010 I believe?) there was a lot of flooding around the country. Part of this road started sinking (it's quite a steep hill out of here) and although it was fixed, I was just shocked at how quickly it happened.

But say the worst case scenario happened and there was a sink hole in your garden - what would happen? What's your specific fear? That you'd be sucked into it? I've googled and it really is incredibly rare - and of those tiny number of people where it's happened (none in the UK), the vast majority have survived.
I have ridiculous anxiety about ridiculous things sometimes, so I do sympathise - but the best way to alleviate it is to arm myself with cold hard facts - if I can say "there is a 0.0001% chance of this thing happening" then the anxiety subsides.

look at doing some CBT therapy. I love it... sometimes we get into catastrophised thinking, unhealthy patterns..... talking out and sharing problems with someone on your side ready to listen is great. I lived in conflict zones for a long time and had awful nightmares. Everyone understood and gave me space because they could understand. I think bella you should have some understanding too the mind is some crazy crazy place........ sink holes may be some symbolism or worry for something else........ it's good to share.

Or the fact it's new means they were governed by modern planning rules and could use modern technology to ensure the area was safe.

Are you anxious about other stuff?

To get permission to build a new estate there would have been various surveys and checks. If you look at your own survey you will find a break down of where various works took place. How close they were. Mine is an area with various types of mining close by but my house has no risk attached.

Lots of houses have subsidence. Usually minor. It can be weather related or settling. Don’t over think things

I am anxious about other things. Mainly getting cancer. I think it's since I became a mother. My periods have become so heavy that they're hard to manage, but I've not sought help in case it's something serious. Every female in my family has had a hysterectomy in their 30s.

I sit awake wondering when I'll suddenly hear a huge rumble/crash and the house will just cave in, killing all of us or leaving us suffering underground.

I just don't want to become a zombie on anti- depressants.

Anti depressants don't make you a zombie.
You need to see your GP. To avoid going in case it's something serious is completely irrational. They may prescribe pills as part of a treatment plan but you can't carry on as you are. You need to seek help.

Im having CBT for similar. It is helping and you can self refer. Some very random phobia from me and in my group.

You need to go to the gp and get help. Sink holes aren't the issue. That's just what your anxiety is manifesting as right now. If it wasn't sink holes you would find something else to obsess over.

If it's newish, that's a good thing as building regulations have got much tighter over time.

Sinkholes usually form when there's a layer of firmer ground such as clay overlying chalk or limestone, which supports the surface and structures on it while disguising a void underground. Being built in a quarry, the engineers will have made sure they know exactly what the ground conditions were like, and with it presumably being an open quarry, it's very unlikely there would have been underground works or tunnels. There would also have been no thick clay layer falsely holding things up as you would have been built probably straight onto the chalk quarry floor.

Sinkholes that have occurred in the UK are really fairly minor in the grand scheme of things, not like the ones you see on Florida or China etc. The only ones in chalk that I remember reading about in the UK have been from old unknown underground tunnels or a burst water main of a scale that you really couldn't miss it as it blasted out a hole in the road surface.

Where your road had sank after flooding, that's far, far more likely to have been settling rather than sinking into as void underground. Flooding often does that, it shifts and settles the ground slightly. If it does any more you tend to really notice it and I should have thought Highways would have shut it if it was a hazard.

I hope that helps for now but please do see your GP as reading your updates I think you could do with a little help with this.

Thank you everyone. I know I need to get some help, but I don't have a lot of faith in my GP. I
I don't feel any better for opening up to my DH. He said I need to get a hobby. It's probably true but my daytimes are taken up motherhood and work, and in the evenings I feel too anxious to do much.

*taken up with motherhood and work

Ah snuffle you're unwell with anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Nothing "crazy" It's really common.

There is loads of help available and ways to manage it. Your doctor will take you seriously, and if you don't get on well with your own gp you can ask to see a different doctor at the surgery.

Juggling motherhood and working is tough. You sound very stressed and unable to relax.
It's easy to put everyone else in the family first but start looking after yourself and make an appointment.

It's a shame opening up to your husband didn't go as expected (get a hobby? )
You can still open up to him; he's just not getting what you're saying. I think explaining that you're feeling overly anxious, have difficulty sleeping and switching off and find yourself worrying too much about awful things that could happen to you/your family is perhaps better than Argh sink holes! if you see what I mean.

I hope you feel better soon.