Stress/ Anxiety taking over

[StressHead15]

Hello,
I wasn't sure whether to actually write this or not but I feel I need to speak to someone before things go too far...

I am extremely concerned about my mental health, mainly being that I feel very stressed at the minute and I just feel like my life is spiraling and I do not know where to turn.

I feel over the last 2-3 years my life is just being turned upside down. I have lost both of my grandparents in the space of 9 months, I have had multiple family members with serious health conditions, my fiance has recently been diagnosed with depression, and so I am trying to help him in the best way I can, but most of the time I just do not know how to do this.

As well as this, I am very stressed due to work as more and more responsibility is forced upon me (they are constantly cutting back on staff and think that I can just deal with the excessive responsibilities). I am also studying Law at the moment and have continuous exams, which I just feel I cannot concentrate on so I am constantly worried and that I am going to fail. Whilst trying to deal with each problem that comes at me, I feel like my employer just does not care or want to help in any way, I was even reprimanded for not going into work the morning my Nan passed away.

For as long as I can remember I have experienced anxiety. However, I have always just tried to push this to the back of my mind and tell myself that I am just being stupid. I always worry and overthink situations, and always fear that something bad is going to happen to me, almost as if I am cursed. For instance, my daily worry is that when I am walking down the street, at any moment someone could kill me, a bus could run me over, anything at all could happen and I can't do anything to stop it!

Recently all of this is just becoming too much and I feel I cannot concentrate on anything in my life, I can't concentrate at work, on my studies, on my family, on my partner, on my eating (some days I just forget about eating meals because the day just goes by without me noticing), I don't exercise half as much as I used to. I constantly feel tired, and I feel that I could fall asleep, and in fact that I need to sleep, at almost any point in the day. This tiredness continues, even despite me getting 7/8 hours of sleep a night - so I just can't understand the fatigue!

Do you think I should see my GP? I feel that even if I make an appointment, I wouldn't be able to explain all of the above to them. Also, if I go and see my GP and they end up signing me off sick from work, I am worried that I will be punished by my employer for this - and would be at home worrying that I am a bad person for feeling like this.
Any help/advice at all will be much appreciated!

Your symptoms all sound like a classic anxiety disorder. There’s a couple of things you should remember though:

1. you can’t help anyone if you’re not looking after yourself.
2. it is illegal to receive any repercussions for taking genuine sick leave (providing you’re not a frequent offender and are signed off by a dr).

I’m not suggesting you abandon your DP when he needs support but you could tell him and ask for the support to be reciprocated?

Speak to your company’s HR department about their sick leave policy (just in case) and speak to your course co-ordinator and ask for support.

Make a list (literally write it down) of all the things that you have to do and all the things that bother you; then prioritise them. Get tough with it and have in your mind that you’re doing this to make sure what you have to get done, gets done efficiently and you’re discarding the stuff you don’t need (like worrying about your boss’ opinion of you).

Give yourself a break - you have a lot on your plate and you’re trying to look after everyone else’s interests on top of grieving and coping with your work loads.

Worrying that something awful might happen is one of the most frightening things that happens to someone with anxiety, it horrible and there’s no point in telling you to stop because you can’t help it! You should absolutely see your dr! Take your list with you - they’ve seen it loads of times and they know it’s hard for someone with anxiety like this to explain exactly how they feel. Medication can help in the short term but if this has been an ongoing thing for a while it may be worth exploring CBT? I found it brilliant.

I’m sorry you’re going through this,OP. I hope this has helped in some way. Good luck. X

OP I'm so sorry that you're having such a stressful and awful time at present and also very sorry to hear of the loss of your grandparents. I don't have much to add to @Liverpoolmumof1's helpful post above-but please see the doctor and tell them what you have posted here.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety due in no small part to full time work in combination with a challenging degree so I have some idea the pressure you must be under and really feel for you.

I found that counselling helped put things in perspective for me - you, your happiness and those who are important to you are the real priority here, not work or exams. Life is just too short and sometimes something has to give: just don't let it be you or your mental health. I know it might not be possible, but is there any possibility you might be able to move jobs? What would happen if you just said no, you weren't able to work harder or take on extra responsibility? Can your university / law degree provider allow you to intermit or take modules more spaced out? It sounds easy for me to say but you need to make time for yourself and to recover-if you don't things will only get worse and you will be forced to take time out whether you like it or not.

I just want to say thank you to both of you for responding to me, it really helps feeling that someone is listening and all of my thoughts aren't just trapped inside my head.

I have managed to get an appointment with the doctor tonight and I am going to take my list with me like you said, I just hope they can help me.

Do you think they would sign me off from work? I honestly don't think I can win either way, if I stay at work, I feel I may have some sort of breakdown or anxiety attack and could do with some sort of break, but if I do get signed off, I know I will be at home feeling like a terrible person.

I am only 21, and feel my work would just say "Your only young, how could you possibly need to be signed off due to stress?". Ah I just feel like I need some sort of escape!

Stress anxiety very similar symptoms.

You can’t carrry on with that load something got to give.
Sod them at work, we always think about what others will think!

Get Gp to sign you off , with ANXIETY then bereavement.

Good luck and right bullet note points, so you can get it in your time slot

Hi OP. Good luck at the doctor's today.

I would have thought that they will offer to sign you off although they obviously can't make you. You can discuss other options with them as well as even if you are off work for a bit, that won't make everything magically better and things need to improve for you going forward. You deserve to enjoy your life and things can't carry on as they are. If you can and do take some time off a bit of breathing space might help you re-calibrate and decide how to deal with things going forward. I hope this will be a wake up call for your work: I hope they won't say anything mean but sod them if they do. They need to hire more people and stop taking advantage of you. It is "just" a job and not worth your life (and I say that as a professional person who works long hours). Please do NOT feel bad for seeing a doctor and potentially taking some time out, if you had bad flu you can't go to work and this is just the same, in fact I'd much rather have proper flu awful as it is as that's less debilitating than stress and anxiety.

You are a young adult under an incredible amount of pressure and it sounds like it has been for a long period of time too, plus you have recently lost your grandparents which has hit you hard. One of my worst periods was aged 18 as a full time student without any work, even compared to being an adult and working and doing a degree-stress can impact at any age. Wishing you all the best-please take care of yourself.

I agree with everything said above. Believe me, if you burn out you will need a lot longer than a few weeks off work. If you do end up off work, keep your mind busy with things that can centre you but allow you to recharge at the same time.

Take the time you need and shrug off any thoughts that centre around other peoples’ Opinions. They are not the people walking in your shoes and dealing with your day to day life.

Anxiety disorders can happen to anyone at any age because it is an illness and there is no rhyme or reason (sometimes) as to why it effects certain people.

Look after yourself, OP. X