Hi, I turned 40 yrs old in March. I have developed extreme health anxiety, for me and those close to me.
My mum is dead, my dad isn't. My older brother I am NC with. My younger brother has MH issues and will always need keeping an eye on. He has a son and sees him regularly. I help him to look after his son during holidays etc.
I do a lot with my husbands nieces.
My husband didn't want anymore kids, which has grieved me greatly. I didn't have a great childhood and always wanted a large family. I sort of bullied him into trying for another in 2014. That was an ectopic, which devastated me. He didn't want to try again.
My dad was going to sell his house and live with us. We would have to extend, but that would be doable, he would pay for it.
My brother would be given money for rent for a year. So he would live nearby, independently, but with us to support him.
He is capable of doing this and I feel like at the age of 30 yrs he should be. He has a job etc, but I feel like my dad babies him and holds him back.
We can look after my dad better.
My son has had lots of social problems, but with slow, painful, steps, he is now a happy little boy with lots of friends.
My husband is a depressive, but a good dad and very helpful with my brother and dad.
I feel I've put so much effort into everything else over the last decade, I've neglected me. I look at everyone else, who seem to have lots of friends and family. The family I see is small really. My dad, due to MH issues, has isolated a lot of his family.
I do have a large family on my mums side. But since her death I've lost contact, except for one aunt.
My relationship with husband is difficult sometimes, he can be very selfish and thoughtless etc. We don't even sleep in the same bed.
I have 2 best friends, who live nearby and who I try to see at least every fortnight.
I see my aunt every 6 weeks or so, due to distance.
I have a sister in law, who I could get on with, but due to other stuff I never formed a real relationship with. She has grown close to another mum at school, so feel I have lost my chance.
I wish I had siblings or a sister I could go out with etc. Lots of friends. I've grown obsessed with my husband and others dying. It cripples me sometimes. Every little thing makes me convinced death is imminent.
Does anyone else suffer with this? Most of my involvement with family is with my husbands. I'm worried if he dies, that it will end etc.
I'm 40, how am I gonna make new friends, maybe have another child. I've got no real education, never had a career, married a well off man etc. No achievements etc.
I'm sat at home with my son and nephew, trying not to cry. It really hit me today for some reason.