Hi.
I've been posting a little on the cancer support thread about my upcoming tests on a breast lump, but I don't want to fill their thread with my mental illnesses so thought I'd try here.
I have suffered with extremely severe OCD since I was a child; the focus of it has shifted a few times over the years, but for the last 18 years or so, the main focus has been contamination, especially with regard to things that go into my body. So, food and drink, mainly. I have been lucky enough to not need any interventions for my physical health and have deliberately avoided the dentist (despite having several decaying teeth) and blood tests (despite a lot of symptoms relating to poor diet).
My current situation is that I haven't worked or had any social life for about 15 years and have lived in supported accommodation for people with severe mental illness for about ten years. I have not used crockery, cutlery, cooking utensils or been able to store food or drink in my home for about 12 years, so no hot food or drink in that time. I buy food and drink and consume it straight from the packet without touching it, but only after long-winded and intricate rituals around cleaning the outer packaging and my hands. The rituals are so exhausting that I can only do it every second day; the other half of the days I stay in and limit my activity to try and help me get through the 24 hours or more without food or fluids.
I mean, I could go on about all the ways the OCD restricts me, but this post isn't supposed to be about that!
I have found a lump in my breast and next Monday I will be going to the breast clinic for an ultrasound and likely a mammogram and biopsies. I don't know how I'm going to manage this: touching surfaces that have come into contact with other people is going to be bad enough, but the biopsy needles...I don't think I can do it. Are biopsy needles single-use? What about the syringes and syringe holder/biopsy gun? Will the staff let me see them clean all the surfaces, and the needles being unwrapped from their packaging? I've read that if a core biopsy is needed, they nick the skin with a scalpel: is that single-use, or will it have been used on other patients?
I'd really appreciate it if people with OCD or friend/family of sufferers, or maybe health professionals, could tell me how such tests are done and if the staff will be sympathetic and able to accommodate me by using single-use items and letting me see everything that happens re: cleaning procedures. For further detail, my main fear is contracting vCJD or another prion disease from inadequately cleaned, reusable equipment.
Sorry about the long post. I'd be so grateful if anyone reads it and replies with suggestions on how on earth I'm going to manage this.