Struggling and asking for help

[Lovemusic33]

I’m sure if you ask any of my friends or family to describe me they would say I’m outgoing, happy, full of fun and a bit stuburn, I’m sure most of them would be shocked to know that inside I am sad. People tell me they would like to be like me, apparently I’m always full of energy and always doing fun things. They don’t know that I have to keep busy or I will go crazy, that if I stop I won’t get back up.

I have lots of hobbies, I keep fit, I have Friends and my family are all close but I feel lonely and I don’t feel like I fit.

The past week has been extra tough and I’m struggling to keep a smile on my face, to keep busy and to have energy.

My divorce came through last week, a few days later my 14 year old dd tells me she has mental health issues and wants to be medicated as she can’t cope with the anxiety she feels each day , I have failed her by not supporting her enough, for bringing stress into our home and letting her see me upset. Yesterday I split with my boyfriend, he did something that really upset me, he can’t see what he did and I’m finding it hard to explain it too him (though to everyone else it seems obvious). My youngest dd has ASD and has been really hard work, she’s probably picking up on my stress, I’m struggling to cope with her and have begged social services to help me (I have heard nothing back), her dad has just had a go at me for contacting social services as he thinks they will take dd away. This morning I’m not smiling, I struggled to get out of bed, the anxiety is giving me chest pains and I just want to curl up in a ball. Today I can’t mask the sadness I feel and I have had to ask the dd’s Dad totake them for the day and ask for time off work, I work in mental health so it’s hard to admit that I am suffering with mental health issues. Asking for help has to be one of the hardest things?

Asking for help can be really difficult but it sounds like you do need to at least see your gp for a chat.

You've just got divorced- it's normal to not feel normal iyswim when a big life event like that occurs, and must be even harder when you have dependent children.

You've been going through so much all at once and you have done an incredible job to this point. It's brilliant that you have managed to hold everything together. From what you have written you have certainly not failed your daughter, but done a great job at being with her through all your own challenges.

You have done a brave thing by asking for help and I'd encourage to keep doing it. Social services are there to support you and don't want to take any child away from their parents.

Keep asking for help and keep talking. Speak to your doctor. Ask on here. Share with your friends and family, you might be surprised at how much support they can give you when they understand what you're going through.

Thank you. The dds have been at there dad's most of the day, he wants to help more if he can. We separated 3 years ago and the divorce has been pretty straight forward, it was a relief to get it sorted but still feels a bit odd.

My lovely mum and step dad are trying to help me, they know I'm down but as I said before my mum makes me feel guilty for being sad as it makes her sad too.

I am pleased that my dd felt she could come to me and ask for help. I will speak to her school next week and the gp.

It's great that you have been able to share with people and also a testimony to your relationship with your daughter that she was able to come to you for help.

I don't think there is any easy or quick answer and allowing yourself time to process all that has happened is important.

It can be very tricky with your mum who sounds supportive. She no doubt wants to help and if you can see a way that she can help you then let her know. That might just be letting you sit with her when you feel down and knowing she is there - she may not need to actually "do" anything just be with you. It might be to help with jobs around the house. It is probably something else altogether that only you know! But if there is something then let her know. This may help you feel that you are not so alone and it may help your mum feel like she is supporting you in the right way.

I hope that things start to change for you soon.