Catastrophising/anxiety - ADs

[Ithinktomyself]

I started on ADs a week ago - I know that it's supposed to make things worse before they get better.

This morning I did something stupid that made my DS 20 minutes late for school (we are never EVER late, I am anal about punctuality). He was confused and worried when I hustled him into the school.

Rationally, I know this is just a daft thing that I won't do again (although I know I'll remember it occasionally and feel my stomach sink) but I came home and had a howling sobbing fit in the corner for half an hour. I still feel sick about it. I can't face picking him up this afternoon with embarrassment and facing DS's annoyance and disappointment that I let him down - he's only 5 and possibly a bit autistic (having him tested) so this sort of thing is a big deal.

I feel like my insides have fallen out. I keep stopping mid-thought and gasping for breath. I know, I KNOW that I over-reacting but then I think how DS must be feeling, for his normally reliable (honestly) mother to have screwed up like this and I start crying again.

Is this the ADs? Or is it just me? I think I just want someone to tell me that it'll all be ok.

I think the problem is that I'm not really sure what "my normal self" looks like. I've always had this noise and chatter with only very infrequent breaks. I don't always breakdown over it but it's pretty much constantly there. Having some time without it is a revelation - I'm a bit scared of the thought of coming off the meds at some point.

Glad you're not feeling so tired. That's a positive. I need to just survive at the moment, we have a (relatively) new puppy and he is very much my responsibility. I feel like I can cope though. We've had a couple of disasters in recent weeks and I am managing them much better than I would have done a month ago.

Great new puppy addition I’m sure. All those walks too. It’s nice to have a break from the background chatter isn’t it. There had been lots more of it for me in the last 6 months particularly and sleeping and relaxing was impossible. Odd experience today though. Woman at work had a go at me and i felt calm internally and was able to move my thoughts on.