Coming to terms with losing close friend

[Peggysusane]

I had a close friend we used to see each other every day and if we didn't see each other we would talk.
Then one day she just stopped talking to me. I don't know why, tried to ask her but shes just ignored me. Its been a long time since it happened,around 2 years almost. It hurt alot when it happened and it still does. I would have thought time would heal it and I could move on. But I haven't been able to.
The whole thing has caused me a great deal of distress. I know this may sound pathetic and I should just get over it and I wish I could but I seem unable to,I'm just deeply hurt.
Has anyone else had similar experiences? Can anyone give me tips on how I can deal with this better?

Peggy I've had this with a family member. It's very painful and it takes time. Particularly if it makes no sense and you valued the person. I had to see the situation as one that I could not control, only my response to it. I have also found that people come and go sometimes in my life. I've lots of longstanding connections with people and I really value that but some relationships are just short-lived.

Don't be hard on yourself and given yourself time.

Also sometimes I feel really sad about it, then it goes for a while and then the grief comes back. But it does lessen over time. Two years is not all that long.

Thank you Lisette. I wasn't sure whether my feelings were normal after it happened almost 2 years ago.
I think the not knowing part is the worst I've had to try and accept something and not really know what I've done wrong.
It really does hurt, it's almost heartbreaking to think people can just drop you.
I suffered since with my self worth because of it. If I can be dropped so easily by someone I was so close to am I important enough to anyone else?
You are right though people come and go and I guess life is full of ups and downs.
Time is a great healer

It may be that the person was struggling in general and so it might not be you personally that they have a problem with. There may be another root cause. And so the failed relationship was a symptom and not something in itself.

The important thing is not to generalise or catastrophise about relationships because of this one. Each relationship is unique and different.

I can see why you would feel that your self worth has taken a hammering but you mustn't allow it to be hammered. Be gentle with yourself.

Thank you for your advice.
It's nice to hear someone else's perspective on it.
I think I might drive my husband away aswell if I bring it up with him again

I had a friend that I met through a parenting site. Used to have her over a lot with her little girl for coffee. She and her husband decided to emigrate which I knew about and was in her house prior to it going up for sale. She sold the house quickly and never called to say goodbye. I was really upset Peggy. Anyway she didn't get in contact at all so I contacted her in Australia via Facebook said that I was upset not to get to say goodbye before she emigrated. Apparently she just didn't get around to it. She was thinking about her future life and just didn't look back. I'm not sure she'd ever have got in contact with me - she'd moved on mentally. It's hard not to get upset but some people do just move on for whatever reason.

Sometimes people are having problems and just don't want to burden others or be a downer for them. Maybe she thought it would be better for you if she stopped calling?

I'm not sure what her reasons were. I suppose the thing is we never know what someone else is thinking.
Forgive and move on is the best thing to do here I think. I'd rather do that than carry around anger towards her.
She had her reasons and whatever they were Ill need to accept it and move on