Super horrible incident - dog related but has left me awful

[sixtimesseven]

I literally have no one to talk to about this except MN.

Been feeling very low lately -- going through divorce without any support, DS serious mental health problems, younger son ASD needing extra help, XH doesn't only take the children once a month, only acquantainces, no real support,etc.

Was feeling very fed up lately with other peoples dogs running up to an bullying mine. My dog doesn't run up to other dogs, he stay neutral and away and always goes submissive if the other dog is snarling or growling or lunging at him (he's as aggressive as a wet tissue which why we got him ). Finally today I lost my rag. Usually I don't say anything and wait for the other owner to call theirs off. As mine is submissive no fights have occured. But today the other owner was very lazy about calling theirs off and I started to panic as it wasn't moving off my dog. So I too the end of my leash which is very long and yelled at their dog and tried to whack it with the end of the leash to get it off. It wasn't actually biting my dog but at this point as I say i wasn't feeling myself, really feeling low and anxious , and was starting to panic it would actually bite my beloved dog. The other dog then ran around while I was yelling at it and swinging the end of the leash to try to keep it off.

Well, what happened but the other owner got really mad and came up to me and starting to threaten me. She started swearing and calling me a fat cunt and getting in my face saying if I hit her dog again she would attack me (I never hit her dog, it was too fast for one thing). I actually forgot about the dogs as this woman was really going to atack me I think as her friend started saying 'her name, no!' Like her friend was trying to call her off. I could have called the police at this point I guess but I know they take forever to get to places and frankly I don't need any more hassle in my life than I already do.

Anyways the whole thing was really ugly. It was probably my fault as I just got to the point where I went a bit mental as it was the hundredth time this happened to my dog and I was letting out months of frustration but at the same time this woman verbally threathened and nearly assaulted me. At the end I took my dog and walked off while she keep yelling rude things at me.

The thing is it has left me feeling even lower. Like I am always alone with everything I do. There's never anyone with me ever if something happens. Like the other week I actually slipped on some wet leave and really took a tumble and there was no one to help or to care. When I told my teenage he just laughed at me. I'm not mad at my son -- he's immature and blames me for the divorce right now.

My other son's friend has been calling to come over today and I ignored the phone ringing as my head is going around in circles about this bad incident.

Please someone come to talk to me

The incident you describe is exactly the type of thing that will bring you down when you are in a bad place, have you ever come across mindfulness? There are lots of apps and guided visualizations on youtube.
I find that if I am dwelling on something, listening to some kind of guided meditation can really help diatract my brain long enough to get out of that replaying loop of the incident I would rather not dwell on.

Yes I have been on a ten week mindfulness class believe it or not. Most of the time I have actually been doing pretty good. I have just been struggling this last week, like really struggling with the enormity of being completely dependent on just myself.

Incidents like this highlight how alone I am and how vulnerable I feel.

sixtimesseven, I hear your pain, and send a virtusl hug. Can you ask yourself what you can do to best support yourself right now? Do you have any local friends who could dog walk with you? Or is there a walking group you could join?

Is there any local support group for people going through divorce/loss?

If you look at your day, can you find a chink of light? What about you walking away from confrontation with the woman? It sounds as though you are dealing with a lot right now. Are there things you can be proud of? Have you learnt new skills?

Listen to the voice in your head - is it helping you or making you feel worse? If it's making you feel worse, be kind to yourself - what can you do to make today just a tiny bit better?

Another hug for you. [hug]

Thank you brake means a lot right now.

No I am one of those loser people with no one. Moved a few years ago and kids behavioural so no one wants to know. Smallish town so not much support groups - everyone here already has friends and family so don't need it I think. Weird area where there's lots for new mums or retired people, everyone else too busy.

I am trying really hard to better myself. Going to retrain for new job. I actually thought I had got used to doing everything myself and was proud of myself but this week really hard and things bothering me and then I over reacted.

It just shows up I have no tribe.

Sometimes you just have a shitty week.

Thinking about support - are thetecany for other parents in similar situations with children who have additional needs? Perhaos through your GP?

What do you like to do? Can you meet some people through a craft/activiy/sport/interest?

Have a look at your inner voice- it isn't be g kind to you right now.... You aren't a loser person! Make a list of at least 10 things you've achieved - looking after 2 children with additional needs in your own every day for one! Then stick your list up around your house to remind yourself that you are valuable.

And please be kind to yourself - it sounds like you have held onto frustration around the dog walking for ages - it's no wonder you broke at some point! Instead of focussing on beating yourself up for losing your rag today, focus on how you kept hold of it for so long. Possibly too long!

Sounds a bit like round here. I also had serious words with an idiot who said "let them sort it out themselves" when her three were chasing my dog barking and growling and trying to grab chunks of her. How I didn't swear at her I don't know. So tempted to kick one of them. That's not like me at all.
Yep my anxiety and depression is pretty shit at the moment.

I was taming about this with a friend of mine recently. When you aren't in a good place mentally, things that generally don't really matter that much can got you really hard. It sounds like you are having a really hard time. Be kind to yourself and take what happiness you can find and treasure it. It will help you through moments like this.

it sounds as though your dog walking time is your escape, your space, and your company and personally i can totally understand a temporary loss of control when you felt he was under threat. and i suppose i might frame the other owner's response in similar terms - she perceived a threat and reacted.

you must be really shaken by the incident and i'm glad no physical harm came to anyone. be kind to yourself and have a virtual hug from an internet random ((you))

When you don't have enough good stuff going on it makes you get weaker and weaker until eventually you react badly to something. I know if you have mostly a good life and good support you react better to things. I know that's the problem. Normally I can handle things.

yes i wish My dog is part of my relax time. I love my dog so very much it upsets me when other dogs run up and snap at him or growl at him.

I don't have enough resistance built up right now to handle things as it's being used up on dealing with XH, lawyers, house falling apart, suicidal teen....

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

i have personal/family mental health/asd stuff up the wazoo too 6x7 all i can say is i admire you immensely doing it on your own and if i could ask you over for a cuppa and a natter i would x

i wish thanks for listening I hope things go well for you

taking practical steps to develop a support network has been a lifesaver for me. i wasn't aware that was what i was doing at the time but it has kept me safe more times than i care to recall. whether that be online, at the school gates, across the road, or just people i really wanted to hang onto and made the effort to let them know how much i appreciated knowing them...

stress, anxiety, tension, depression, worry... i used to internalise them all. i'm learning how to talk, ask for help, when i have nothing to offer in return. and there are kind, considerate, and sometimes likeminded people who want to reach out a hand.

strength to you x

I'm not well enough for a cuppa and a natter right now. But I would happily share a dog walk! That's if a bouncy Wolfiepup isn't too much.