Hi, I’m not really sure what I’m expecting from writing this but I just need to let it out even if I don’t get a response!
I think I’ve been struggling on and off with postnatal depression and lately it’s getting worse. I love my 8 month old baby so much but at the minute he’s teething and he’s so upset the majority of the time. He’s usually a really happy baby but he’s screaming all the time and I don’t seem to be able to calm him down and it’s wearing me out. I’ve had to leave the room when he’s crying and I’ve ended up hurting and punching myself out of frustration 😔 I feel so guilty and scared that I’ll lose my temper with him
I’m very lucky that I have a great partner but he works really long days so I’m mostly alone. Our baby was only 4 months old and we found out I was pregnant. I had a copper coil fitted at the time, I was told it was still in place despite me not being able to feel the strings and unknowingly being pregnant at the point. We made the really really difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy. I had to have keyhole surgery a couple of days after to remove the coil from my intestines. We had a death in the family around that time as well so it was really hard. I feel like this has contributed to how I’m feeling and it’s been building up all year. I don’t know if it could be PND as the symptoms seem to come and go over a period of time.
I was diagnosed with antenatal depression so I think it’s likely this could have carried on. I’ve completely lost trust with my local GP after everything that happened with my coil (surgeons advised there were a few mistakes on their part, the coil wasn’t fitted correctly) so I don’t want to make an appointment, it tends to feel like they’re in a rush to get you out of there 😪 I don’t know who I can talk to and I’m worried I can’t cope with our son much longer. I feel guilty for even thinking this 😔