I have PND and PTSD (following birth trauma) also OCD which is flaring up since the birth of my dd 7 months ago. I'm currently receiving trauma therapy but am not taking antidepressants as I wanted to see if I could get better without first. For info, dd is not a good sleeper and I'm ebf. She won't take a bottle but is generally a happy baby. I'm still up with her 4 times a night minimum so I know sleep deprivation isn't helping my situation.
Until about 3 weeks ago, I was hiding a lot of how I was feeling and when I had a bad day I'd hide it from my family because I hate the idea of them worrying about me. However, it got to the point where I was too exhausted to act any more and with some persuasion from my therapist I decided to be honest with my dh, dm and df. They all said they would much rather know when I am struggling so they can offer support.
My dm is not coping well with this. I was messaging her earlier and basically told her I felt like not getting out of bed tomorrow because I just didn't want to talk to anyone. She responded with a long message that I would summarise as "you need to get over it and stop letting the pnd beat you". Of course, I would love to get over it but it's not that straightforward.
I'm inclined to not contact my dm when I'm struggling now because it's not something she's comfortable with dealing with. That's absolutely fine, I can live with that. However, that just leaves dh as I'm not that close to df. He is an absolute rock and has been amazing throughout the last 7 months but I don't want to lean on him too heavily because it will take it's toll on him too.
So my question is, who else can I speak to? I almost need someone who doesn't know me so they aren't emotionally invested and that way it doesn't hurt them to see me struggle. Does anyone have experience of this and have any suggestions about what I can do? Thank you if you've got this far, sorry it's a long one.