Trauma symptoms and therapy

[Letitgo2018]

I have just started some trauma therapy and I wondered if anyone else is going through the same. This is a third attempt and it is partially processed but still very affecting and exhausting.
The feelings it throws up are all encompassing and set me back in my life as I have to settle my symptoms down for that few days, coping with feelings of panic, irritability, sleeplessness, fear, physiological symptoms, sometimes even mild dissociation when overwhelmed. On top of that I'm scared of these symptoms and how long they will last for and to what dark place they will take me back to.
I am committed to it and also have grounding techniques and skills , but it's still wearing.
Just wanted to connect with anyone who has recently or is currently having therapy for trauma.
The psychologist has said I fit the criteria for PTSD.

Hi, I’m starting with a psychotherapist this Friday after a medical trauma at the beginning of March. All your symptoms are exactly mine - including a couple of very small periods (a couple of minutes each) of disassociation which were terrifying.

I really hope that this time round works for you

Hi Cuppa lovely to hear from you. Maybe we can support each other even in small ways. Thankfully at least I don't feel like this all the time anymore, but when it's disturbed it's horrendous. For a few days I feel as if I am back in that dark period and as if I'm reexperiencing the symptoms. It's hard beciase I'm happy in the rest of my life now, although of course I'm also very grateful for that .
Have you had therapy before?

I have, but not for this - used to suffer from anxiety but thought i’d kicked it. So I was predisposed to get anxiety/depression/PTSD when this happened.

Would very much like to give each other mutual support.

It’s all pretty fresh so am still deep in the thick of it and finding each day hard, but hopefully the therapist will be able to make some headway with me.

Ah yes I understand. I feel ok today but Friday until Sunday I felt shaken and unsettled , a little agitated and het up. I probably wouldn't have been able to post then as I find I feel quite withdrawn and low at the same time.

Is anyone else in trauma therapy?
We wouldn't discuss anything to do with the trauma obviously, but more to do with self help, grounding techniques, maybe any problems with the therapy process.

Do you do mindfulness at all? Am doing it a lot at the moment but finding it tough to keep my mind focused.

Hi yes I do I love mindfulness. But I use it in different ways.
I use it as a meditation like with headspace app, and I use it outdoors for grounding, sensing the surroundings, and Inuse it with each activity that I do just trying to fully engage and be mindful at that time.
I find it helps me to pay attention, also to let things go like worries abiut things and also to be grounded.
However when I'm having a trauma symptom I don't find it works. I still try things - like counting objects, but usually have to use soothing deep breathing or vigorous activity or opposite emotion or other techniques to try to calm myself.

my hubby is very poorly with C-PTSD I am interested to know what the trauma treatments are? we are meeting with a psychologist today but i'm not sure what they will offer. so for NHS have only offered meds and say he is too poorly for therapy and wait til he settles but they've been saying that for a 6months +

Hi lovemyboys how did the meeting with the psychologist go?

Is anyone around to chat . All day I have been feeling horrendous and still I can't settle down. Why does this have to happen? It's so unfair

I have no experience, but I just wanted you to know that I’m here.
How has your day been?

It's been awful. I keep doing all the right things but not feeling any calmer. I know I should just feel I'm doing ok but Inhate the way I go from feeling happy and calm to like this. Why did this have to happen to me and why can't it resolve.

Thanks for asking went ok was mostly about getting in routine, eating well & starting to go out again
Think we have to wait for therapies which is frustrating but meds been increased again so waiting to see if that helps

The other day I had a rough time at work. It was the first time in the 3 years I’ve been practicing mindfulness that I could detach from the situation. I became aware of the physical sensations (knot in stomach etc), then breathing into the ‘knot’, then detaching.
I have a ‘thing’.
I’m from the continent and I miss the sun something terrible. One day I was flying out of UK on an absolutely awful day: grey, cold wind and rain. The plane took off and I could not believe my eyes: above the clouds there was a beautiful blue sky and brilliant sun. That stayed with me and I’ve been using it to ‘lift’ me out.
Hope you feel more settled soon.

The blue sky is always there.

I am meeting my friend tomorrow. Also I need a good night sleep.

Hi all, this not sleeping malarkey is sending me over the edge. Keep waking up with fear/nausea and not being able to get back to sleep for hours. Am mainlining guided meditations but my brain will just not let me switch off. I’m hardly eating (lost over 11kg since the 2 months since the event) and rarely leave my bedroom. I did have a period of getting better - but now am exponentially worse.

Doc prescribed me some sleeping tablets but afraid to take them as a) if I hadn’t woken up when I did the night I got sick I probably wouldn’t be here now and b) one of their side effects is to exacerbate anxiety and depression. She also prescribed some antidepressants but the last time I tried taking ADs (for anxiety in the past) I had an awful reaction. Been looking into herbal remedies but most of them interact with my current medications (predominantly my blood thinners). I don’t seem to be able to catch a break.

Finally seeing a psychotherapist tomorrow - am desperate for her to help but worried I’m relying on her being able to work miracles.

Sorry for the rant.

Hi Cuppa. That's all sounds very tough. Yes the first meeting with therapist is the assessment one where problems are outlined and a plan made and the method in which she works is explained as well as confidentiality. My therapist went through the trauma model and how trauma works.
I am more settled today thank God after the horrors yesterday.
How are you feeling now ?

Are you off sick at present ? X

Sorry you had such a shitty day yesterday Letitgo2018, are they getting less frequent?

Fortunately we own our own business and DH is holding the fort - my role is mainly done from home anyway and am managing to do some bits and pieces.

Thanks Cuppa. My situation is slightly different from yours in that when I had the trauma I had the constant panic for a few months but that was a few years ago. Now I am having treatment because it's causing symptoms and panic either when triggered or other threats are present, or after disturbing the memory either myself or in counselling. So when disturbed, I have a set of bad days, then recover and so on.