In a hole

[Someoneelsee]

I just feel so..meh..
Really alone and like I can't talk anyone, but that I wouldn't even if I could.
I'm a single mum to 2 (under 2) and although my world revolves around my babies, it's a pretty small world!
I feel like I do the same thing day after day. I'm the one that makes breakfast, lunch and dinner, tidies up and does the washing.
I'm not ME, no one calls me by my name, asks how am I or wants to see me, and if they did they'd be put off by the shit show child juggling mess that I am. Part of me thinks I want a man in my life but first off, how would I ever meet anyone! Secondly, I'm not sure a breastfeeding mum is top of anyone's want list! And then when I think about it I don't want anyone around my kids anyway! So that's it, back to being Mum. I feel bad for even writing it as I don't want to sound like the kids aren't enough for me. I just feel lost

You're top of your children's lists. And I've no doubt that you're pretty high up on other people's, too. When you feel alone, that might not sound very realistic but I'm sure you are important to lots of people.

Do things that you want to do. And if you're not seeing many people, find opportuities to do so. Parents' groups for mutual support and, if you can arrange childcare (perhaps through some such group), groups, meetings, classes that are just for you.

Incidentally, I met DH when DC3 was about two through a shared interest. Didn't expect that to happen but it did.

Sorry, that sounds tough for you.
I think there is this very sexist & annoying unwritten rule in our society that all women want is to have kids & that when do have them it's extremely interesting, enjoyable experience that will totally fulfill all our needs..
Are there any interests/hobbies you could do when you've moments to yourself?