Hi
Long story ahead:
I’m a mum to three in three years. Three babies in just slightly over three years.
After the first I had some anxiety with driving, riding my horse etc. Then eventually it went away. I have always suffered with various forms of anxiety, from walking down the street to paranoid that nobody likes me. I know where all this stems from and I deal with it in my own way over the years.
Now after my third baby who I had end of January I have been feeling pretty bad. I would say I am very happy with my life BUT I am constantly thinking I’m going to die. I am exclusively breastfeeding and have had one period and no more since yet with my first two my periods arrived straight away and now I’m paranoid I have something wrong. I am having lots of pelvic pain that shoots down my legs. I am a runner and back doing nearly 10k and maybe it’s this but in my head I’m paranoid I have cancer or something. I have booked a smear test for next week as I haven’t had one in just over three years.
Everyday it’s a battle in my head that I’m going to die of some underlying disease. My husband said to go to the doctors but I assume they will put me on antidepressants and then I will start worrying if these have any long term health effects.
I haven’t ever been like this before I wondered if this is a type of postnatal depression?
Today I find lines on my nails so I spent an hour and half googling it and trying to find what it is. Just a battle everyday in my head that I keep to myself. My dentist has said I’m grinding my teeth down and I need to get to the route cause whichis usually stress related. I’m a happy mum to three kids and an amazing husband so it’s nothing like unhappiness in my life. I think I’m just terrified of leaving my kids behind. :-(
Sorry for rambling on but if anybody has any advice or just a ‘I have been in this situation’ and fancy a chat.