Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

Original poster

sex

6 replies

pinkum · 15/05/2007 09:33

is it just me? i feel like a total object when it comes to sex. i try to get into it but i give so much of myself to my babe that i just want to keep a little for myself.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 15/05/2007 09:36

Maybe it's just a bit soon for you. Can you take a step back and just give dh/p cuddles and other forms of attention for a while? It's quite normal to go off sex for a while after childbirth, although lots of people do resume sexual activity early on.

foxymagoo · 15/05/2007 09:39

no its not! My ds is 11 month old and I feel the same although it has gotten easier over the past few months. In my case its tiredness, I have always needed to be rested to be in the mood - hard when you are the mother of a newborn! DH and I manager @ once a week. He is very supportive of me and I make sure I give him lots of cuddles to show I still love him as much. We also try and have a 'date' night once a week when we go to cinema/get a good dvd, helps keep the intimacy alive IMO.

I know when I was bfing (first 3 months) there was no way I would have contemplated sex as I just felt my body was for ds and barely felt mine let alone up for sex.

Ther are lucky women out there who love sex after children but not any I know!

Don't be hard on yourself, your body has taken a battering and you have a lo who needs your 100% attention, it all takes time...

Original poster

pinkum · 15/05/2007 09:41

i would never get away with that, hes got a high sd and i get pestered. i felt like i had to do some kind of reciprication at 3 weeks, now babes nearly 6 months, i have got some kind of drive but im just exhausted and want to go to sleep. my friend has a similar problem and says its like having a dog in the bed!

OP posts:

foxymagoo · 15/05/2007 09:54

ah differing sex drives, that old chestnut -its a bugger itn't it!

Does he appreciate that you are exhausted?

Original poster

pinkum · 15/05/2007 12:07

well he's exhausted too but his sex is a bigger drive

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 15/05/2007 15:55

I wonder if some new Dads feel they have to compete with the baby for new Mum's attention?

Interesting what you said about bf and sex drive. In my case I wasn't terribly up for sex post partum when boobs were sore, but once that had settled down, it was ok even though I kept bf for years.

Flip