MIL behaviour

[ShortbreadTowers]

After a bit of advice.

My MIL is a lovely, if slightly odd, lady. She has always had funny quirks but on the whole, functions well as a person. Recently however (past year), her behaviour has deteriorated to the point that we are quite concerned about her. She has a history of MHI and her mother and sisters all have suffered too. Her mum spent time in a secure hospital due to an attempt on her own life.
I'm not worried that she will hurt herself or anyone else physically, but she is making huge life decisions that will affect her and others really negatively. We really don't think she is in a rational state of mind and will absolutely regret the decisions she is making if/when she recovers. We can't discuss it with her as in the state she is in, she will just cut contact with us and then she won't have anyone keeping an eye on her.
My question is, what can we do? My DH is wondering whether we can call her GP and explain the situation but I'm not convinced they will be able to do anything due to confidentiality.
We are both feeling very worried about her and just feel useless at the moment.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry if I've used the wrong words etc. Just trying to work out way to help her.

Bump

How old is she and does she have any diagnosed issues? If so your DH might at least be able to tell her G.P about worries even if they can't give any info.

She is early 60s. She has been diagnosed and medicated for depression and anxiety but we have always thought there was something more- potentially BPD or PTSD from childhood. The major issue is that she is convinced the rest of the world is wrong and she is the only one who can see things clearly. She would never get help on her own and would cut off anyone who tried to intervene.
Can't just sit by and watch her implode though!

You can talk to her gp without breaking any confidentiality rules - they just can't tell you anything. They can ask questions and give you general advice though.

Excuse the name change but this is OP. Since this post, MIL's behaviour has developed into full blown persecution delusion, with her fixated on alleged DV from FIL. There is absolutely no truth in her claims but she has told everyone who will listen that FIL is a terrible man, who is defrauding her of inheritance and she is in fear of her life. She sounds very lucid and plausible, and many people, including family in her side, believe her. We are desperate as to know what to do! There is no way she will present herself to the GP for help mentally as she doesn't see herself as poorly, in fact, she did see the GP a few weeks ago and he agreed that it sounded like an abusive relationship and reverted her to woman's aid!
DH is petrified as the MHI looks like it may have a genetic component and we have young DC. He said he feels like he is in a horror film and waiting for his turn to turn into a zombie.
MIL is claiming she fears for her life and her family have convinced her she needs to flee FIL to be safe. I feel like screaming at them that it's bullshit and she needs help!!
I'm sorry for the rant but, fuck, I feel so helpless!

Hopeful bump

Contact her gp. There's nothing to be lost in doing so. If she's already having some treatment for MHI, then s/he can easily call get in on some pretext if necessary.

Have you spoken to the family members who believe he? And what does FIL think of all this?

Family members think she needs to separate from FIL and move out ASAP. It's so weird, they know FIL is a good man but yet they are encouraging her delusion. They are all a odd tbh and bear scares from their mother's behaviour as children. They are all retired, single women and I think they are enjoying the drama a little bit!

FIL is devastated but doesn't know what to do. She sounds so reasonable in her delusion that he has started to doubt himself and his behaviour, questioning if he is responsible. It's such a mess!

How do you know the FIL is innocent?

Is the DV the only delusion?

Sorry you are going through this, it sounds very stressful. I would write to the GP detailing all your concerns. I would then write short top up letters as things progress.

The GP cannot make MIL go to see them. But once there, the GP will have more facts to decide on.

This could be a form of dementia.

Lewy Body type often manifests itself as delusions and paranoia.

She has family she can stay with.
I would encourage her to go and stay with a relative for a break and go from there. Advise FIL to make an appointment with the GP himself.

There can be underlying reasons for this eg. B12 deficiency so she does need to see GP.

If she is convinced she needs to leave, can she seek sanctuary with you? So that way you can keep an eye on what's happening.
Definitely speak to GP, if nothing else they can advise on who else to seek support from.
I have to ask- how do you know there isn't DV occurring? Abusers can be extremely covert, and terribly good at keeping up appearances.

The DV is absolutely not real. It's hard to explain why on here but I am 100% sure the DV is a delusion. If anything, FIL has been subjected to EA over the years with her cutting him off from other around him, which makes this doubly sad as he now has no support network. I have written a letter to her GP and will send it today. Thank you for your support.

I will look up that form of dementia.