Hello,
Apologies if this turns into a bit of a long one- don't want to drip feed but could really use some help right now.
I struggle badly with anxiety as a result of a vicious manager in a previous workplace who bullied me to the point where I was signed off and resigned.
At the time, my anxiety was very much work related and the Dr gave me diazepam to try and help with the symptoms. I requested some counselling but never got this.
I managed to get through this period by the skin of my teeth and have since come out the other side and am now working for myself.
Recently, however, I have been really struggling again and this time the anxiety has leaked into every aspect of my life. I am feeling completely out of control and like I'm letting people down constantly (even though I'm assured I'm not). I feel worthless and completely incompetent and have started having panic attacks again. I'm crying at literally everything, struggling to get up in the morning, am exhausted but then struggling to sleep, can't remember things and am increasingly moody.
I hate this version of me. I'm normally a bubbly, happy person but I just can't snap out of it. I know I need to get back to the GPs but am struggling to get an appointment because they're so overcrowded. I can't afford private counselling and really am not sure where to turn. I do have RL support but have leant on them so much over the last few years that I feel awful putting them through this again.
I'm going to keep on at the GP and hope that they'll eventually be able to find me an appointment but am hoping that in the meantime someone might have some coping mechanisms they can share with me to help me get through the day?
Please...