Coping strategies for tomorrow

[Undercoverbanana]

Acute anxiety sufferer here.

Tomorrow I have my monthly review meeting with my boss and HR.

This will involve a summary of all my misdemeanours since the day of my birth, an interrogation as to what I am doing to “cure myself” and a reminder of the disciplinary possibilities I am facing.

Please, please could I have some hints, tips, ideas of how to cope. I can’t cope with being brought down at the moment. DP is away. My Mum has had another breakdown. My Dad has dementia. I have a pre-op on Thursday and I’m bloody terrified. I am battling so hard, against so many things right now, and I cannot, will not, be brought down. But they will. Every bloody time.

Please help me with coping strategies to get me through. I just don’t have the strength for it.

Shameless bump.

Turn it around and ask how they would like to support you.

Good luck. I have been here and it is crap when you already feel low and work make it worse.

I don’t really get to have a say.

I just get spoken at.

Then all my self-esteem, willpower etc is crushed and I have nothing left.

It’s not supposed to be about supporting me. It’s about belittling me and making me feel worthless for having confidence/concentration/coping problems because of my mental health.

Can you take someone with you? A union rep or a workplace colleague

I don’t want anyone else to know how shit I am.

Thing is, I work really, really hard and gets loads of work done. I just do things that are wrong all the time like struggle to deal with the phone and think I don’t know things when I do. And suffer anxiety attacks

Recognise that they will be pulling you and your work to pieces but try to stay detached and keep your cool. If they talk over you, say nothing until they stop and then repeat what you wanted to say. Play the part of someone who can speak up calmly. Remember you are an adult not a child, and they are not some all-powerful being who is much bigger than you. They may have work roles more senior than you but you are worthy of equal respect as a human being. Sit up, look them in the eye and have confident body language. Have some questions ready for them in return, preferably difficult ones. What is their policy regarding disability discrimination relating to mental health? What measures are they going to put in place to support you? What mentoring will they offer to improve your skills? Which specific things would they like you to address first? Good luck and let us know how it goes.

RoundaboutSnail That all sounds so good but I can’t do those things. It takes everything I have just to walk into the place these days. I used to be bold and confident but I have spent so long trying to fight off negativity that I just want to shut down and cut them out. I have worked so hard to build back the life I have and they just want to break me down again. I want to refuse to listen to them to protect myself. Can I do that? Refuse a meeting?

I have been up drinking last night to try to numb the anxiety. I feel so shit now.

My return to work interview was horrendous. I will never forget it. I came out of there and collapsed in the local park. That’s what they do to me. I started back there the very next day. I fight so bloody hard.

How did it go?