Helping a friend through grief and depression

[onecrazycook]

Hi,

Just looking for a little advice on helping my friend.

She has a chronic illness meaning she's in pain a lot of the time and struggles to even eat. This has led to pretty severe depression and suicidal thoughts.

In the last 4 months she's suffered 4 losses, both friends and family; the most demented of which was last week. This was a friend of hers, who in all honesty I thought was bad news. He was a drug addict and homeless as a result. My feeling is he may have been more than just a friend, but as she has a boyfriend I wouldn't broach he subject with her. Anyway- i digress. Since he died last week she has been understandably upset, but this upset has manifested in a darkness I've never seen in her. She's totally consumed with the loss and constantly posts about it on social media.

It has only been a week, and I absolutely don't want to tell her to pull herself together - I've had depression and I know it's not that simple- but I do feel that she needs to distract herself in some way as this blackness is swallowing her.

Any advice on how to help her?

Is she receiving help for her depression from a doctor?

Yes- sort of. She's on a waiting list

Anyone?

You say it's been a week, so this is really very early days. If you are worried she is suicidal than you could gently suggest a trip to the GP to see if she can be moved up the waiting list for MH support. If you don't think there is a risk than at a week after someone close to your has died I think you are allowed a few dark posts on Facebook tbh. At a week they won't even have had the funeral yet, so there really is no closure at that stage. Be there for her to talk to and see how it goes over the coming months.

Waiting list? She needs to see her GP.
And could she access bereavement counselling?

I don't know what to suggest that hasn't already been said but couldn't read and run, do you live close enough to visit when you have free time? It's very early days.

Maybe offer to go with her to the GPs - even if it's just to hang out in the wiating room whilse she has her appointment?

She's been to the GP and now she's on a waiting list to access the very, very overloaded and cash strapped mental health services. Last night there was an episode of coronation street with a suicide apparently (I don't watch it) and she's been asking a lot of questions on Facebook about how the character committed suicide, so it's worrying me greatly. Ive talked to her about calling the Samaritans etc. I just wish I knew how to do something more tangible