What to do if someone doesn't help themselves?

[30dayseplease]

Lots of history, but sister has been prescribed anti depressants and awaiting further treatment- cbt etc.
She's suspected personality disorder.
She's refusing to take her meds and is being awful around her children. There in bed but shouting downstairs etc.
What happens when someones refusing help but ruining people's lives around them?

How old are her children? Does she have a partner?

"Ruining people's lives"

What do you mean!??

Medication doesn't suit everyone and can cause nasty side affects.

Perhaps some love and support rather than judgement would be a good starting point in helping her?

Ruining people's lives ie her children, she shouts at them, hits out her partner Infront of them, she meets there basic needs ie food/clothed etc but isn't nurturing in anyway.
I help her ALL the time, I've taken her to the doctors, got her referred to CMHT, sit with her and try and calm her down atleast twice a week. And nothing me and her partner do is working and she is just getting worse

If she does have a personality disorder (and on the limited information we have, that seems likely), then anti depressants are going to be little help. Equally CBT is rarely effective for personality disorders, she needs more specialised support such as DBT.

If she's coming across as difficult to others, just imagine that pain she must be experiencing in her head. Talk to her about what help she wants, not the sticking plaster type help she's having pushed on her.

I totally get what you mean and I am supporting her as much as I can. However she's not taking the meds the GP has given her, she's not retiring the phone calls from mental health practitioners, she has numbers to ring to book appointments and she's just refusing to do anything. There's only so much I can do in terms of being there so her as its taking its toll on myself and her partner. I worry for her a lot and worry for her children who are both under 5.
Without sounding critical she is very self destructive, paranoid about her relationship, she feels her partner is leaving her for another women (he's not), refuses him to leave the house, shouts/swears/hits him all Infront of the children and I just don't know what to do anymore

And i understand it must be incredibly difficult as its all so real in her head but I want her to get help and she's refusing, she also suffers from depression and anxiety.
I fear for her children who are growing up in an unstable household, her toddler also swears as he hears swear words on a regular basis

I have no answer I'm afraid to say. My DD early 20's has a mental health disorder and she refuses to get the help she needs. We are not at your stage yet but there will come a time when I will radically change my approach.

She's got bipolar and her behaviour can be challenging to say the least. She refuses to take her medication and does nothing to help herself. I've explained it to her and I've told her I won't support her approach if it continues.

My DD doesn't have children so I don't face the issues you are facing. The children cannot become victims of domestic abuse and perhaps you need to consult with social services or her GP.

It's very sad but her children need to be protected. Could you spell this out to her gently? I daresay it will be difficult. Is her husband on the ball? What is he doing to protect the children?

Could he leave with the children or ask her to leave until she is fit to look after them again?

Perhaps her key worker can help you? I'm not much help but you can reach out for help. I hope it goes OK x

Thankyou for your response mumontherocls, mental health conditions are tough on family members too as I'm very close to my sister and it's painful too see her suffering but it's even worse for the children. I agree they need to be protected but I feel social services is a big step and I feel my sister would hate me for doing that. They are experiencing/watching domestic violence. My sister may have 2 good days out of a 7 day week.
Her partner is supportive and has stood by her through all of this, but he is getting to the point now where he is fed up of the abuse.
She also refuses to let him take the kids.
It's a hard situation and I'm not sure what to do.

If the children are seeing/experiencing domestic violence then this is SERIOUS.

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/impact-on-children-and-young-people/

You MUST contact social services. They will want to help. They don't just take children away.

I know your sister is struggling but the children come first.