My GP is leaving and I don't know how to cope

[neverknowinglynormal]

I started with depression four years ago and have had a billion different contacts with various mental health teams and professionals, but my GP has been the one consistent and helpful person who has seen me through all of the darkest times.

She has given me time and advice whenever I have needed it and has been the only person who has seemed to genuinely care and understand.

I can't describe the sheer wave of panic that is consuming me at the though of losing this support. I don't have the energy to start all over again and it just makes me feel like it's a sign to give up on everything or any hope that things will improve.

Hi never. Don't give up. When is your GP going? Have you spoken to them about your worries? If they are still there than ask if they can arrange transition meetings with you and whoever will be your new GP. One or two appointments with all three of you where you can go through how your current GP supports you and what the plan is for the new GP moving forwards would mean you don't have to start all over.

Changes like this are really hard when you have come to know and trust someone. It's OK to ask them for some support through this.

In the next few weeks. She has already told the other GP who she is handing over to most of my history and so I think the "knowing" the facts is done. It's just not the same as knowing a person, is it?

I don't really want to stress my GP out by making her feel bad that she's leaving. She apologised and I can already tell she feels bad enough as she said she didn't want to let me down but had to leave. I got the vibe that she's not in a great place herself as she is just quitting, not going somewhere else.

I just feel so scared that someone who's always been there and known what I should do is not going to be there anymore. I can't change that, but I also don't know how to accept it or what I am going to do.

That's a good way of putting it, knowing the facts is not the same as knowing the person. It is perfectly reasonable to ask if you can have a short appointment with them both so you can meet the new GP with the current one as backup. This would be standard practice (or at least should be) if you were in secondary services like a CMHT and your care coordinator was leaving.

Building a good relationship with your new GP now will save them time in the long run as you will be less stressed. You don't need to feel you are making them feel bad about leaving by asking for this you can just give them a call and ask if it would be possible. Even if you can't meet them both consider making an appointment with the new GP as soon as possible while the handover is fresh in their mind and they can still speak to your current GP if they have any questions. This will help to set your mind at rest and make sure they have a clear picture of your needs.

You aren't making a fuss, you are being proactive in ensuring continuity of care, which is important for your health.

It sounds like you have a really good relationship with your current GP. It is completely understandable that you would find the idea of losing that relationship upsetting when they have helped you so much. I once had someone describe it to me like a feeling of grief when they had to change care workers. This really rang true for me.

I sympathise with you OP.

My wonderful and supportive GP of many years killed himself. I was anxious about seeing another GP afterwards, and used to feel upset and emotional going to the doctors, although I kept it to myself. But, although it's sad and you'll miss her, many GPs are equally kind and supportive. Maybe when you see the next GP, tell them what's happened and how you feel about it? You might just need to give someone else a chance. Do you have any other support or counselling in place?

the only person who seemed to understand. Also a good idea about making appointment with new GP soon.

User, that's so sad about your GP. I will try to explain how I feel, but I think they know.

I do have a therapist, but that's ending soon. I also have a care co-ordinator/ CPN, but haven't seen her for almost a year (though she has been in touch recently to arrange a meeting. Probably to discharge me). Also a psychiatrist but he is no use at all.

Thanks for the replies.

Don't know where the first bit went! I think I said it did exactly feel like grief. I have known for a while that I was over-dependent on her and expressed concern about it, but it was hard not to be dependent on the only person who seemed to understand.

I think it's normal to depend on someone who is supporting you when you are unwell. If you had a physical illness and had an amazing consultant you would also become reliant on them and worry if they left. I always think it unfair that this is considered such a terrible thing in metal health.

Psychiatrists are often only really interested to prescribe meds and diagnose in my experience.

Might be worth catching up with you CPN if you feel you need a bit more support. It sounds like with therapy ending and your GP going you have a few transitions going on at the moment.

I had the same GP for 15 years so I can relate. When she retired in December 2017 we discussed who I would like to see instead. (I was fortunate in that she told me back in March 2017 she would be retiring at end of year but it still sucked. ) She knew me so well, and I relied on that (rather than Dr Google). If I was really going downhill as opposed to a ‘blip’ she recognised it. I have started with the new GP, but I know it is really hard but hopefully your old GP left good notes. My experience with my new GP has been very positive. I hope for the same for you. Best wishes.