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Absolute fear of dying and leaving my children

30 replies

1BubblebathAddict · 19/04/2018 11:46

I have a 7 year old and a 1 year old. Ever since having my youngest the fear of death has crept up on me. Today before writing this I have just broken down (my asda delivery is due in a minute, he'll think I'm strange with bulging red eyes!). Anyway, I find as soon as I want to sleep, death is in my head. I wake to go to the toilet in the night and the thought is there again. I don't think it's the act of dying, it's the idea of my children not having me around. It just creeps up on me no matter what I'm doing. I know we will all die eventually but I just can't get rid of the overwhelming sadness of not seeing their little faces. I already have social anxiety and find just recently it's playing up again. I had CBT a few years ago for it, it worked to an extent. Is this worth bothering the Gp as I don't feel it does. Please if anyone is similar to me, leave me a comment. I can't keep living like this, I feel so stupid because of it x

OP posts:
Thatsnotmyunicorn21 · 05/02/2022 23:42

I can relate to all these messages, I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I have had this feeling since I had my beautiful little girl 18 months ago. I have this overwhelming feeling that I am going to be taken away from her or she is going to be taken away from me and it leaves me feeling heartbroken. I want to enjoy every moment with her but I am left feeling sad as if I am making memories. My mum died 3 years ago and when given her terminal diagnosis she did just that, created memories for us. I am glad I am not alone but feel very lonely.

Angela1976 · 12/02/2022 00:12

I feel exactly like this to i have a 4yr ild and 17yr old and 25 yrs and 3 Beuatiful grandchildren no life insurance as im not sure wat one to go for

FooFighter77 · 13/02/2024 13:30

I have had a fear of dying for as long as I can remember, I'm 46 now.
It is not the act of dying, I just can't accept that I'm not going to be alive one day - and it's ruining my life. Sounds weird and crazy I know.
I have an 8 year old daughter and I don't want to put this fear onto her. I also don't see how anyone can help me as nobody can stop me from dying.
My husband doesn't know about it as he is not very sympathetic.
I really don't know what to do as it controls my life.
I have panic attacks at night when I'm lying in bed but the daytime isn't so bad as I'm usually busy and distracted.

citrusfruit1 · 13/02/2024 22:30

FooFighter77 · 13/02/2024 13:30

I have had a fear of dying for as long as I can remember, I'm 46 now.
It is not the act of dying, I just can't accept that I'm not going to be alive one day - and it's ruining my life. Sounds weird and crazy I know.
I have an 8 year old daughter and I don't want to put this fear onto her. I also don't see how anyone can help me as nobody can stop me from dying.
My husband doesn't know about it as he is not very sympathetic.
I really don't know what to do as it controls my life.
I have panic attacks at night when I'm lying in bed but the daytime isn't so bad as I'm usually busy and distracted.

After years and years of suffering from health anxiety and fear of dying, I have finally reached out to my GP today. It feels like I have taken such an important step. I have a phone appt tomorrow to discuss options. Could you do something similar? My husband tries his best, but he really doesn’t understand.

FooFighter77 · 13/02/2024 22:34

I did try CBT quite a few years ago but it didn't help at all. I have been on anti depressants for quite a few years but these haven't helped with this much at all.
I think I may take your advice and try my GP again as it consumes me day in day out and it's not fair on my family.
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it x

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