Hey all, I'm on sertraline 50mg for the last eight months, second time round on them. I have had two severe depressive episodes and two small relapses after physical illness.
I'm feeling down today and a bit tearful. A bit self pitying. I'd give anything to be one of those lucky people that never experience anxiety or depression. It feels like I will be medicated for the rest of my life and will always be waiting for the next 'episode'. As depression and anxiety run right through my family, the chances are it's genetic and I don't want to come off the tablets to relapse again.
I also have health anxiety which sertraline helps with but despite the fact I've had four children, one without any pain relief at all, I get stressed at the slightest thing health wise. It feels like most of my life I've been healthy, but this year, there seems to be something every month and I'm so fed up of hearing myself say, I'm tired, I feel sick, I don't feel well. I've had headaches on and off for a month and weird pain in my right leg when in bed at night. My wisdom tooth is pushing through the back of my gun and it hurts, but I'm so terrified of the dentist, I haven't been in over ten years. It's not the work or injections that scare me it's sedation. Ever since I was 4 and had a traumatic experience with a GA, I cannot stand the thought of any sort of sedation. Even at my worst with depression I flat out refused to take diazepam.
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself and wish I took health things in my stride like other people. I'm tired of feeling tired, I'm tired.of worrying if a sad day means my tablets aren't working and a relapse is imminent. I'm tired of living my life in fear really.
Just needed to sound off, thanks for reading.