my friend got sectioned.

[KendalMintCakey]

What can I do or say to help her?

Visit and support as a good friend should. Same as if they were in hospital for a broken leg.

Depends on where they are. You could put together a little pacel for her but give the ward a ring and ask them what is and isn’t allowed.

Visit her - lots of people in psych units don't get visitors. Ring the ward first though, because visiting hours are quite strict (as they have to be if they have a lot of sectioned patients) and also ask if she is well enough to receive visitors. If the answer to that is No, ask if you can send her something through - a small parcel of personal toiletries would be hugely appreciated. Sectioned patients cannot always get off the ward, even with an escort, if they are deemed to be too unwell so even a trip to the local shop to get some toothpaste and shower gel might not be possible.

She's at a local secure unit. I used to work as a secretary at the hospital she's at. My job was to empty the money from the telephone. I'm good friends with several of the Nursing staff caring for her. One of the Nurses is a childhood friend. Her husband told me. I know she won't want me to know.

She doesn't have much money and I'm terrified I've made it worse. We bought a new Ford MPV car recently. I didn't know she was struggling. She put on her work fb how she'd sold loads. I didn't realise she was errmm fibbing. :( I'd recommended a home tutoring course as she home eds. For like a 100 a month then 50. I didn't know she was struggling. She seems to have bipolar. I feel like I've added to her pain :(

She's really not well at the moment. They have 2 kids.

It's such a shame :( she's so type A.

I want to visit & help. Her mania is being v aggressive tho :I

My husband was on a secure unit although not sectioned, although they would have done if he didn’t agree to stay.
I would ring the ward and ask if you are able to visit, if they say she is too unwell or only close relatives are allowed as them to pass on a message to her that you are thinking of her etc.
You could send in a parcel in with change, nice tissues, shower stuff, dvd etc and maybe a note, but it will be checked by staff so think how you wrap it.

Please don’t blame yourself.

I know she won't want me to know

Theres your answer

I feel like we've been showing off. But we got the car because ours skidded on ice and we got the insurance.

Stop beating yourself up man OP. You’re feeling guilt for no reason

Maybe for now sort out a little comfort parcel and give it to her husband to take in for her. That way she won’t know you know and be kind to yourself.

I really don’t think your car has got anything to do with her present MH.

I'm sure you're very worried about your friend but it sounds like a huge breach of confidentiality on behalf of the nurse who works there.
I can understand you wanting to help but really you should leave her be for now.
Forget about your finances, or anything you posted on facebook, it's not your fault she is so unwell.

Perhaps you could offer her DH some support if practical - help with school runs, childminding, even stuff like shopping or laundry if it takes the pressure off him and gives the family more time together?

If they are struggling financially maybe a little gift for her children or a few meals that can be frozen to help out her husband? Possibly offer to babysit or drop/collect the children if you feel comfortable doing that? Parking at hospitals can be expensive so maybe you could bring her husband over at visiting times and collect later?

I'm good friends with several of the Nursing staff caring for her. One of the Nurses is a childhood friend. Her husband told me.

If this is as it sounds, it is a massive breach of confidentiality. You should never have been told this.

No, they didn't her family did.

It's a very small town and only two secondary schools in it. Nest... "Her husband told me"... I'm not telling all and sundry. I'm genuinely worried for her

When you say her husband told me, do you mean the nurse’ husband (the one who is a childhood friend) or do you mean your friend’s husband told you? I interpreted your post as meaning the nurse’s husband told you which would be a breach of confidentiality on their part, not on your part.

No the friend who's been sectioned - her husband. No breaches of confidentiality just a very sad situation for all involved. Childhood friend & Psych Nurse likes girls...

Her poor kids must miss her terribly. When they were little I used to look after her eldest to help her out. Her husband worked late and she did too. I worked PT back then.

Childhood friend & Psych Nurse likes girls...

In the kindest way possible, OP— THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

You want to visit someone who doesn't want you to know she's in a local secure unit? Please don't. And mention it to NO-ONE.

:/

If her DCs are being home educated maybe you can help with that given that their Mum cannot teach them at the moment.