I’ve not been on here for a looong time so haven’t felt the need to nc and anyone who knows me irl knows I’ve had a tough couple of years.
I just feel like I keep going round and round in circles. In my head. In my job. With my dh.
I am unfulfilled at work which is a whole other thread but for the purposes of how I’m feeling right now I’ve been through a few restructures and doing a job well below my capabilities and despite applying for loads of other jobs just feel really stuck.
I had 7 months off last year with depression triggered by a very stressful disciplinary at work that was not upheld and still on citalopram.
Under appreciated at home. I organise pretty much everything which is not really the problem but the minute something goes a bit wrong it all falls on me. Had a row with dh today because I needed to pop to work to pick up some notes. I said I’d only be a few mins and he was waiting for me. I text him to say system was slow and I’d also got caught short so would be 15 mins. He didn’t get the messages and rang me to say I was taking the piss.....
I don’t really know where I fit in terms of friendship groups. I was out for lunch with friends today and the atmosphere was awkward (friends brother was there and he cheated on a very good friend of mine so he avoids me and he and his new wife both blocked me on social media). Friend has a new baby and people were posting pics etc on Facebook and commenting and I can only see half the convo. I just sat there and thought I’m too old for this shit!
Recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia but am trying to come off the citalopram as I just don’t think it’s working and I want to know what my normal state is and go from there.
How do I look after me when I’ve got a 4 year old, a dh, a dog, a mortgage and bills.....
Just taken the dog for a walk and realised at these times I just don’t really have anywhere to go.
Sorry that was long x