New therapist dilemma

[fudgesmummy]

Hi all,
I am a long term lurker on these threads but have never posted before.

I have been seeing a counsellor for several years to help with some long term and current issues that I struggle with.

Things have got worse lately so I decided to look for other help. I contacted a therapist through a counselling/therapy site and as requested send him a very detailed email telling him all my issues and problems, they are very complicated and complex.

Writing them all down has made me realise again just how fucked up my life is.

I was honest and said I was seeing someone but wanted to change as I didn’t feel it was working for me anymore.

His response has taken me by surprise, saying that as I am already in a long term therapy relationship that I should be telling her all the things I told him (does he think I haven’t?) and that he wouldn’t be willing to take me on.

I now feel utterly stupid and embarrassed that I told him everything, I obviously shouldn’t have said I was seeing someone, but surely honestly from the beginning is essential?

This experience has put me off contacting anyone else, but things are getting worse and I need more help and support. I now feel stupid and worthless ☹️

Is it possible he feels unable to meet your needs?

I don't think honesty was a mistake. Perhaps he isn't the right therapist, there might be another.

I don't get a sense of whether the counsellor you recently finished with (or are still seeing) was previously helpful. If so is it worth discussing this with her like he suggests? Is it possible that she might have a useful discussion with you about what you do next and perhaps even be able to make a referral? Sorry if you I'm suggesting something you don't think would help.

Another idea might be to find a practice/clinic with a number of practitioners linked who might be quite skilled in undertaking an initial assessment and identifying a suitable therapist/s for you to consider.

I hope you find the support you need.

Hey, you weren’t to know this but it’s against BACP ethical guidelines for therapists to knowingly work with someone who’s seeing another therapist as the two can work against each other and it can be harmful for you. It’s fine to want a new therapist, you just need to not also still be seeing the first one. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience and hope you do try someone who’s a better fit for you.

Thank you both for your replies, it’s very much appreciated.
I didn’t know that rainbowbryte.
Everyday life is just so fucking hard, things like this just make everything that little bit tougher ☹️