Could it be connected?

[Brokenhearts123]

Hi, over the last 17 years I have suffered with anxiety issues and sometimes making bad decisions which I think may have been connected to my marriage.

I’m now separated (have been for two years) and although I’m trying my best and I know it was the right decision,I still have days where I am so low and just want to run away! My husband was quite manipulative and often I didn’t feel good about myself. He would shout at me in front of the kids and everything felt like my fault. On other occasions he was a doting, kind man but I was constantly walking on eggshells.

I recently ended a relationship with a lovely man for fear of what people and my husband would think and I’m sure it’s because my self esteem is shot to shreds! My husband hasn’t moved on as such so I felt guilty that I had. My anxiety is quite bad at the moment and I’m trying to muddle through. Could it have been caused by the unhappiness in my marriage? And how can I move on not caring what others think? It just adds to my low feelings. Any advice?

I am not an expert.

But, it sounds to me that you really need to focus on yourself. Learn to love, trust and respect yourself regardless of the people around you.

I wish you the best.

I think at some point there has to be a line drawn under needing something (someone) to blame in order to move forward. It’s tempting to believe that if only you could identify a ‘cause’ you would be able to fix it and move forward, but often it just wastes years more of your life.

Thank you for reading and your replies (both helpful) I think that if I could recognise that the bad times in my marriage did contribute to my issues with anxiety I could perhaps deal with it more. I know there is no good to come out of looking back, you’re right.

Freedom programme?