I think I may have Borderline Personality Disorder

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Anyone out there who has this condition? For years, I have struggled with paranoia over relationships and I suffer deep depressive moods which I find impossible to recover from. I suffered physical abuse from teachers at a young age, first boyfriend at 18 was sexual and emotional abuser. The emptiness and lack of joy in my being even when I should feel different and happy is hard to shake. I pick my scalp until it bleeds😢.

Just wanted to put this all down here as not sure about RL.

Anyone with similar symptoms?

Have you spoken to your GP?

I think that you need support and a GP is a good place to start.

Definitely see a doctor as soon as possible and be prepared for a long wait. I think having an idea of what your diagnosis is beforehand will do some good though. I've been symptomatic of BPD since I was 11 and didn't receive a formal diagnosis until I was 23. Not to put you off seeking help, but waiting lists for BPD-centred taking therapies are long, just be prepared.

I hope you find your answers, OP.

Could it equally be complex ptsd/issues with attachment?
I know it sounds serious but there's more treatment available and in a lot of cases, personality issues become more managable when the c-ptsd is treated.
Grounding techniques etc are fairly straightforward.

Better to describe your symptoms with a professional and see what they say, I think.

You sound like you're really struggling though - best of luck with getting to the root of it x