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Mental health

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Original poster

Need a bit of a rant and a bit of advice!

20 replies

redzed · 10/05/2007 14:50

I can feel depression slowly taking hold of me again. I have had it on off for past 5/6 years and never had any form of drugs for it, although i did have a counsellor for a while, but she focused on one thing that she thought was the course (the fact my house was broken into) however i knew that was just a factor, and that i had been unwell before that happened.
Anyway, each time i 'get' it its worse than the last time. Last i had it was about a year ago, and i was very unhappy, self harmed and had the 'everyone will be better of without me' thoughts. Luckily i had a chance to go travelling for a couple of weeks and when i got back i had been offered a new job, and so i kind of forgot about being down IYSWIM!
Now i can feel it taking hold again, and i dont want to get close to how i felt last year, so i called the doctors to get an emergancy appointment for today, no emergancy slots left she can 'squeeze' me in 4th june so i started crying and she said i should call for an emgerancy slot (which i was already doing!!) another day. Now i cant stop crying, just because i cant get a doctors appointment!!
So i am thinking untill i can get to see a professional, maybe i could try st johns wort or something? any experince of this or any other OTC stuff?
Great now its time for the school run and i look horrendous!

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 10/05/2007 15:06

Redzed you are a unique and precious human being who would be missed enormously if you weren't here. It's bad that you couldn't get an appointment with the dr today, but you could ring or email the Samaritans. I believe St John's Wort is effective against depression, but may be contra-indicated if you take the contraceptive pill. Please post again to let us all know how you're getting on. Must go now but will log on again later today. Hang on in there.

Elasticwoman · 11/05/2007 08:41

How are you today Redzed?

CookieBear · 11/05/2007 08:50

Hi Redzed, Just read your thread.

How are you doing?

I'm off to work now but will check back here later to see how you are

Original poster

redzed · 11/05/2007 14:44

I am feeling more 'rational' today, and can see that was being a bit silly yesterday, however i still have a kind of sickness feeling in my stomach-like i know i could just turn again very soon. I also have a thumping head ache from all the stress i gave myself yesterday! Luckily at the min i am not that bad that i cant see past it IYKWIM but i also know that yesterday i felt very low and tomorrow i could feel the same again, so i will try again for an appointment with GP.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 11/05/2007 16:34

You were not being silly yesterday, but I'm glad you feel better today. Do you think your condition could be linked to PND? Or did you have it before children? Hope you managed to make an appointment. If not, you could also ring NHS Direct. If this is a long term condition, which it sounds like, you should be under a psychiatric nurse.

Original poster

redzed · 11/05/2007 16:47

No its not PND although i think it could be related to the depo contraceptive injection and in the past the pill. I am going to go to the family planning clinic and see about the coil (the one that doesnt release hormones) see if that helps. still going to see a counsellor again though, as i know i need to sort out my thought processes and make my self 'strong' again.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 11/05/2007 17:37

Well, I use a coil and am not depressed or pregnant. Also used to know some one who felt the pill made her depressed, went off it and hey presto problem solved. So that could be the answer for you. Hope it's that simple, but good idea to see counsellor again.

gingersj · 11/05/2007 18:52

Hey Redzed, hope you are having a better day today. I have been there and know how sh1t it can be....

Stick with it, on a bad day you might just need to take a look at the 'long game' and focus on a couple of things that are really precious (even if they may not happen or might be imaginary)....this helps me get through the bad days.

I have had bad days / weeks / months for a long time and talking to someone is the only thing that helped. Do you think that might help also?

Original poster

redzed · 11/05/2007 19:16

Yes talking to someone would definatly help, because i know my thoughts on things are a bit warped so it would be helpful for someone else to put things into some perspective for me. When i did see a counsellor last time, she did help a bit, but like i have said, she focused ALOT of the fact my house had been broken into, and yes this bothered me, but she made out that was the route of the problem, but i knew it wasnt.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 11/05/2007 20:15

Hope you get a different counsellor this time.

gingersj · 11/05/2007 21:16

I would go and see a different counsellor. It took me several over a long period before i finally found a weird one that smoked out of the window in our sessions who absolutely got into my head and helped me sort out my spaghetti....

Stick with it. Insist on seeing the doctor. If they say they cannot see you, just be insistent or go down there and sit crying in the surgery...

BTW, I think doctor's receptionists are the biggest pains in the world.

Good luck, try and keep smiling. I am sending good vibes your way.

Adorabelle · 11/05/2007 21:27

Sending you positive thought redzed, I know
exactly how you are feeling.

I'm now [she says in a very quite voice with a stiffled cough thrown in] 30. I've had depression since I was 16, culminating
in my having to be hospitalise twice and lots of different anti-d's.

Sounds to me like you don't want to use Ad's which
I totally understand and respect, but for me
I knew that as soon as I began thinking 'everyone would be better without me' that I needed to go back onto some kind of prescribed drug therapy.

Along with the ad's I found that I had to go through amny different types of counselling & therapy. I tried phsycotherapy, C.B.T, hypnotherapy, general counselling & more. It takes time to find the right course of therapy for you.

Until then, Stay strong, talk & let your feelings out on here & bug the Shit out of you Dr's surgery to get you an app

gingersj · 11/05/2007 21:31

Well said Adorabelle!

Adorabelle · 11/05/2007 22:46

I believe prescribed medication has been my
saving grace. Without it I know for certain I would notbe here now.

As i've said, I have alot of admiration & respect for people who choose not take anti.d's but for alot of us they are the
only thing to help us carry on living.

Don't want to sound over dramatic, being a drama queen was never my style

But if taking one tablet a day lets me get up in the morning & makes me want to take
my dd to toddler group without the thoughts of 'should I slit my wrists first?' then i'll take that little tablet everyday thank you.

What works for some doesn't work for others, but there is still such a stigma over depression & mental health & being on 'medication' that we need to break the barriers & make people realise that we're not all raving nutcases, there is an imbalance in our brain & we are just trying to put it right.

Original poster

redzed · 12/05/2007 12:18

I'm not against taking ADs, if it stops me feeling like this then i am up for anything! Its just getting to the docs that seems to be the impossible task. I did see a doc last year, but he said he didnt want be to go on tablets yet, and put me on waiting list for a counsellor, After that i got MUCH worse, but i didnt go back because i had stoped caring, and as for the counsellors waiting list, i guess i am still on it as no one got back to me!!!

Do you get any choice in which AD's to go? I have heard so many bad side effects about some of them! Its quite daunting.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 12/05/2007 15:52

So have you managed to get an appointment yet Redzed?

gingersj · 14/05/2007 10:39

Hey redzed, how are you today?

Adorabelle · 14/05/2007 16:22

Hi redzed, when I was first prescribed ad's
I was just given one the doc suggested. I felt bloody awful on it.

I then asked to be put onto Prozac which worked wonders for me, unfortunately after 3yrs of being on it it stopped working.

Tried Seroxat, which worked brilliantly, but when I tried to come off it I thought I was dying as the side effects were awful.

Totally stopped my ad's 3 yrs ago whenn dd was born, but when she was about 18months I realised I needed them again. Am taking Sertraline as it's very compatible with breastfeeding & she was feeding loads at 18months but only 1-2 feeds a day now.

How are feeling today redzed?

edam · 14/05/2007 16:33

Doctors have to offer appointments within 48 hours so receptionist was wrong. Next time you call, point out that you do acutally know about 48 hour target and if she can't offer you an appointment, you'd like to speak to the practice manager. Can imagine it's hard to be assertive when you are depressed though, you really shouldn't have to.

edam · 14/05/2007 16:35

Oh, St John's Wort can interfere with lots of different medicines, btw, not just the pill, so if you take anything else you need to check with your GP. Particularly important if you take blood-thinning drugs as it exacerbates the effect. Round in circles, I'm afraid.

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