Perhaps better to post here: does anybody have a story/know of helpful resources on trauma bonding/codependency/addiction

[Wadingthroughshit]

Hi there. I have posted on relationships forum but may be better here.
Exactly what the title says really. I have been in a relationship for 16 months. The relationship has caused me a lot of pain and upset revolving mainly around sex and the way he talks to me. I have been told he is emotionally and sexual abusive. I am constantly anxious, it has disrupted my post grad, and think of not much else.
Anyway, does anyone have any stories or resources ? I think I’m suffering addiction. When I pull away I feel almost traumatised.
Many thanks

I'm not sure if this is what you are asking, but it's normal to feel traumatised when you end a relationship. That trauma will decline with time, so when you pull away, make it very hard for yourself to go back - remove his contact details from your phone etc, arrange lots of other things to keep you busy, and if you get tempted to contact him, remind yourself why you left him. In other words, go cold turkey from him and the relationship. Best wishes.

Could this potentially be trauma bonding if its an abusive relationship? have you tried women's aid they can be really helpful and they also have a forum where you might be able to get further support, I hope things get better for you soon

Thank you @JamPasty and @Tomarto
I think it is some form of addiction and trauma bonding. I’m really struggling. We’re not together, but still in contact. He told me he loves me yesterday, we’re to have no more filth talk until Friday...but then a few hours later he text telling me how much he wanted me to sleep with someone and come to his on Friday and confess.
This is very typical, everyday this is discussed. But there are these amazing moments of utter pleasure when we are out doing things. I have contacted a CODA leader and hoping to attend a meeting on Friday.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder around Christmas after a horrendous break down, although I think limerence and stress is more accurate.
I can barely function. I do not want any noise around me, I want to be alone or with friends , the Easter break is not being easy

Mate, you have to cut contact with this man - he is USING YOU, and you won't get over this until you cut him out.