To feel disappointed in my OCD

[Kittycuddles]

I have severe OCD. Reccomended for specialist OCD treatment. I throw so much away. Sometimes I buy things that are expensive and throw them away through my OCD urges
My mental health team have disregarded that completly and i feel a tad angry that they never actually got round to helping my OCD with therapy only medication. Bear in mind at one point my OCD make preparing food hard and i ended up nearly ending up in hospital after starving myself for ages. Today I have thrown away probably over a 100 quid worth of items. Lovey shoes that were 20 quid. A dress. Fancy makeup. A nice bag. And i feel upset I didnt fight the OCD enough but also a tad sad that the mental health system just doesn't support mentally ill people any more in the ways they need.

Go back to your GP and ask for CBT. You have to be ready and prepared to help yourself though, not just lay it all on mental health services.

And don’t throw stuff away, it’s really wasteful. Give it to a charity shop.

The thing is my mental health team have done things like losing records of me having psychotic fits and withdrawing mental health support when i didn't get my mental health quick enough. I am agrophobic so going to my gp isnt an option viable. The OCD when bad is horrible and the OCD states something have to be thrown away not donated.

I have ocd and totally get you. It’s easy to say give things to charity, however for me this was impossible as I felt items were contaminated and I couldn’t risk someone else using them. Go back to your mental health team and try again to explain the effect this has on your life.

Frankie thats it!! You worry about OCD contamination. You see my mental health team saw me since last Jan after being with the crisis team and nearly ending up in hospital. They ignored me developing a drug and alcohol abuse problem even when me and my family told them i had been Oding on pills on the regular. Ignored being told i attempted to climb my roof in a psych episode. Ignored my self harm and suicide notes. Then a few months ago i over dosed on pills too much and lost use of my legs temporarily and ended up in a wheelchair in hospital for possible neurological damage. Next day was sectioned by police. Came home from the ward the next day after having no sedatives given to me at the ward to help me stay calm until I went home like they told me they would give me sedatives. Saw crisis team again for a week or so. Discharged .community mental health team discharge me back to crisis again and i get assessed for sectioning again. At this point i am referred for a brain scan. Asked to consider going to hospital as i fainted as i stood and my bladder gave up. Discharge to community mental health care again a few weeks later when i stop smelling like piss and told the specialist mental health help would be referred this time. Community mental health team told me they had no records of any drug problems and told me that basically they dont have funding for my mental health treatment anymore unless I an better mentally or im acute mental crisis again. I.e suicide attempt. So now I sit here with an eating disorder. Self harm scars littering my arms, torso, chest, legs and a large graze on my nose from self harm. Battling a personality disorder, severe odd, eating disorder, QUASI psychosis, self harm TENDANCIES, suicidal TENDANCIES, depression and anxiety as well as the health problems left from starvation from an eating disorder that started before I got puberty. And they dont care. They discharged me. Until I attempt suicide.

I’m so sorry that you aren’t getting help you need x. OCD is such a horrible, intrusive disease and it’s so hard to explain the compulsions and feelings to other people. Please try and talk to your team again. X

OP - please get a home visit from your GP or re engage with home visits from the Crisis team. You cannot carry on like this. This thread and your others are a heartbreaking cry for help.

Hi Kittycuddles

We know this is an old thread but as it's been reanimated now we thought we'd just post a few links to organisations that may be of use (to you or anyone else struggling with OCD).

We're not sure if you've heard of an organisation called Mind, but they have plenty of advice and support which may help you right now.

Here's a link to their webpage about Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour

And here's a link to their page on Self-harm

They have practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help. Maybe take a look and see if there’s anything which might be helpful right now.

Please do think about exploring some of the options in the link above. Samaritans are there for you too, 24/7, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide.

By the way, we've moved your thread over to our Mental Health topic - we can see you're getting good support here but AIBU can be a bit robust at times.

We really hope you're okay.