How do you/what do you do when on a not so good day

[Haribogirl]

Anxiety/depression suffer long term.

Yesterday was a really good day, we went out for lunch and had look round garden centre, no bad anxiety at all.
Evening was chilled,

So this morning
Woke up about 8 ish, just lay there chilling.
DP brought me a coffee up, and started chatting.
Straight away I knew I was in a flat mood, and couldn’t really be bothered talking to him and said I’m not on a good day.

I get an aching on the outside of my leg around knee area, it’s like when you have toothache, constantly aching not a pain through. This really drags me down and I just can’t forget about the ache nagging.

I had breakfast, shower and dressed, anxiety building up inside me.
I tried to distract myself with cleaning things I’d only do say once a month.
In the end I ended up taking 2mg of Diazepam, to see if it would knock it on the head and also help the nagging ache.
I’ve not really stopped all day, even out in the garden today tidying around.

So question to suffers
How do you get around/over your bad days? What works for you?

I take things s-l-o-w-e-r. I've been in bed since 5pm.

-Scented candles
-I make sure I'm eating something.
-I curl up with a soft blanket.
-hot shower with nice soap
-dishes don't have to be cleaned right away.

• audio books instead of real books as I can't read when I'm really down.

-I write a lot in my journal.

Have you had any psychotherapy?

No psychotherapy
To access nhs mh in my area is a chore and nightmare, it’s done through healthy minds and waiting lists are huge. I’ve been under secondary care about 6 years ago, but psych won’t see me just told gp to up my meds which I did 2.5 weeks ago.
They said I can see psychologist, but waiting list is 6-9 mths away.

I’m really thinking of seeing an hypnotherapist/ psychotherapist private
I’ve looked around and done my homework. Just got to find the courage to get myself there.

I have borderline personality disorder. I saw my therapist twice a week privately for the first 9 months and now i see him once a week. I've been seeing him for around 13 months. I'm not 100% "fixed", but I'm not the same person I was when I first started. My mood changes were much more extreme and rapid. I had pure rages. I had more down days and was a lot more suicidal. I stopped settling in a relationship because he made me see things I couldn't.

It really works with the right therapist, but it was one of the hardest things I've done. There was a lot of tears, talking about trauma which I've denied. I've officially quit with him four times, but he's always taken me back.

I would recommend emailing a few to get the ball rolling and don't be afraid of asking questions about experience. But also check the BCAP register to see if they're listed.

Which medication are you? How long have you been on it for?

I’m on venlafaxine 150mg for about 5 years, it took about I’d say at least 6 mths to feel interested in things agai. in that time though I wouldn’t say I was completely ok maybe better frame of mind which lead me to be able to get out shopping, family,gardening.

Because of feeling like this again over say past 6 mths, I’ve now decided up up the venlafaxine by 37.5mg to 187.5mg it’s 19 days since increase.

I’ve had 3 not good days on the run now, I’m off my food today and the thought of it doesn’t interest me yet my stomach rumbling. I must get something though, but it’s not good when you have to force yourself each mouth is gut renching.
I’ve resorted to a 2mg Diazepam again, to try and settle me so I can eat and maybe feel less agitated also scared of thinking I’ll get hooked, that’s why I wait to take the diazepam. Maybe I should just take it when I get up.

It’s a bloody constant battle.

I've lost 2 stone in 2 months on Venafalaxine and I look dreadful... well, my face does and my hair is horrible.

I'm only on 75mg.... I'm eating little and often and using butter, lots of cheese and crackers etc.

But I haven't been this weight since 1995 which is freaking me out.

I do the 'grounding' 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch etc (google it, that might not be 100% right).

DMIL is coming over on Monday for a few days and we will have a bit of quality time with DD. FX DH and I will also get out, even to the cinema.

I feel so sorry for him..... when I'm not well I'm so disengaged with our relationship and constantly feel like I'm trying my best to sabotage myself.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy OP x

Wow 2st in 2 mths, is that from not wanting food?
Have you suffered from this before this episode?
Have you only just started venlafaxine 2 mths ago? I always lose weight when I’m relapsing, this time upto now it’s 1st 3lb. I don’t put it down to venlafaxine it’s the anxiety/depression that as a knock on effect on my appetite, like my brain telling me not to eat. I have to be stronger and don’t let it win.

I’m the same with dp, I’m either agitated and snappy or ill ask him for his advice then it turns into an argument sometimes because he either doesn’t understand how I feel and says “ you got no choice, you have to get on with it” which I already know.
It’s so hard trying to muster up enthusiasm to want to do things, it isn’t coming naturallly at the moment so feels like I’m trying to please him to make up for being horrible sometimes. I’m not good around people either, especially when my anxiety is high and I feel flat.

I will google grounding