Is this a breakdown or is DP just an idiot?

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DP and I have been together 8 years, living together for 7, 2yo DD and by and large a good relationship. He works away m-f so we don't see as much of each other as we would like, but talk every day, and are happy.
This weekend, I went on a hen night. DP had some quality time with DD, and everyone was happy. I was delayed getting home today as trains were delayed with the snow. We were in touch most of the way home and I spoke to him about 1, he was putting DD down for a nap and putting the heating on for me.
I got home about 2. He was asleep on the sofa, with a glass of wine next to him. Unusual.
I woke him up and it was lie raising the dead! Took him 5 minutes to even come round and I was starting to worry!
He had glazed eyes and I was a bit confrontational asking why he was drinking in the daytime while in sole charge of a toddler. He maintained he only had a large glass at lunch and it had gone to his head. But he was staring off into space, really not in a good way, and I was getting panicky, asking if he'd taken anything else (meaning painkillers, he doesn't take drugs) and he creed saying I was accusing him of being a bad father, he would never take drugs or put DD at risk, really wound up and offended. He's never like this.
He stormed off and went to bed for an hour. When he got up, I tried to be normal and move on, but he was really needy and desperate saying I don't love him, I'm horrible, asking for apologies and kisses like a toddler! His voice is all higher pitched and whingy and he flits from being madly in love to blanking me and being cross.
He's been nice to DD but demanding affection from her which I hate and he's never done.
He's currently asleep again.
What is going on?! Do I ring a doctor? An ambulance? Wait and see? Wake him?
I'm scared.

I dont think this is the right board unless you have other reasons to think he has had a breakdown

Sounds like drink or drugs.

Oh okay thanks Spring I'll see how to get it moved.

Does he have any medical illnesses

I think it sounds like drink or drugs, too. Why would you think it was a breakdown? Has he had mental health problems lately?

Not serious ones... He suffers with lots of stomach acid and takes tablets for this, but nothing else.
He has been under a lot of pressure at work, and we lost a close family member at Christmas time, but this has come out of the blue. I'm so worried about him

He took drugs as a rebellious teenager, like 15 years ago. Nothing since we've been together AFAIK. He does drink on occasion, we both do, but ive never seen this before

Is he still asleep, it may just be the drink but if you're worried about him why don't you call 111 for their advice,

Maybe he was drunk? He admitted to a large glass of wine with lunch and there was another glass beside him while he slept. Maybe he'd had much more than that - have you checked the recycling bin?

Can you check the recycling for empty wine bottles? Maybe he drank last night then finished a bottle at lunch and the hangover/drink today made him a bit spacey?

But, drinking alone during the day when in some charge or a toddler is worrying in it's own. Have you noticed if he drinks a lot usually? If so, maybe time for an intervention. If not, then he's made a stupid decision this weekend and that warrants a discussion but doesn't seem major.

Hopefully that's all it is and there's nothing else wrong. See how he is this evening and if you're concerned, call for help or get him to the gp in the morning.

Checked the recycling, and reluctantly, his phone. Nothing. There is about half a bottle of wine missing which is consistent with his story.
I realised I didn't say he was crying before. He never cries. Twice in 8 years. That's shaken me a bit.

If he's made a poor decision for just today, we'll work on it and move on. But I've not noticed any heavy drinking, no changes before now. Just out of the blue this afternoon. I feel so responsible for DD that I'm worried to let anything drag on

So he's just woken up and ordered takeout. I suggested we just go to bed but he is adamant we do what we always do on sunday (takeaway and film).
I asked how he feels and he said "fragile but okay", won't expand on the fragile part. He's still a bit disoriented and just went to the toilet leaving the door open which he has never done in our whole relationship!
Thanks to everyone who has offered advice. I've asked for the thread to be moved. Looking into drug abuse bowen in case I have missed something huge. Feel like my world is upside down.

Poor guy, i hope he is feeling a but more together, maybe it's all catching up with him, stress and work and a recent bereavement, maybe he has depression coming on. You sound very caring, it is frightening when someone we care for acts out of character but drinking at home with a toddler isn't the way to go, he probably know that. Would he be happy to have a chat with his g.p. If he has worries, I hope you have a quiet evening in.

Hi OP We're going to move this one over to relationships for you shortly. Hope that helps a little .

Sounds like he's maybe been a bit more stressed than usual, belong alone with the toddler if you're normally there, and with the recent upset in his life, it's just been the little push he needed to have an emotional day. A big glass of wine can make you a bit weepy if that's all happening in your head.
His behaviour after is normal if he's a bit put of it with his thoughts and emotions, but he's getting back on track with your normal routine so that's a good sign.

Be gentle with him for a few days and trust your judgements.

No advice I'm afraid but it does sound worrying. and I hope things are better tomorrow.

Well if he was not drunk at 1 and comatose at 2 then it’s drugs I’m afraid as impossible to get that drunk in an hour!

I think he’s feeling guilty about something personally.

Could he have cheated on you? Sorry for asking but it’s what would come to my mind

He sounds like me at one point in my life, especially it being out of character. Maybe my experience will be relevant.

I had had a years-long period of work-related stress, then a recent bad experience that me feeling I could no longer manage. If your husband is like me he is used to 'managing' and feels his responsibilities keenly.

I am fairly driven, and classically high-achieving. To me, the feeling of not being able to manage was disorientating and frightening. I also spent a weekend drinking, and was very needy, and both self-pitying and self-blaming, and when not that, withdrawn.

I tried to carry on managing, but ultimately sought medical help. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

I'm now in a better place, and wished that I had learned some of the skills and perspectives I am now learning a couple of decades earlier.

Things I found useful were: taking a break from work, even if a short one, and getting away somewhere; CBT; mindfulness; and proper exercise. Tim Cantopher has an excellent book on stress-related depression.

PM me if useful. Good luck also - it's really tough being the other half in this. The good news is that your husband is probably not in such a bad place as he thinks he is right now, tools and ideas exist that help, and if my experience is anything to go by, you may prefer the husband who emerges at the end of this than the one you have now.

How is your DP now OP?