Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Horrible MH apt experience

15 replies

thatcoldfeeling · 15/03/2018 22:27

I think Tuesday may have been one of the worst days of my life. Maybe I am being dramatic. I really wanted to write about this somewhere straight away but I have been so upset.

So I was having 6 weeks of counselling having been referred over a year before for PTSD symptoms. However my counsellor referred me on to the community mental health team as still suicidal, bloodletting, and bulimic.

I very quickly had an assessment appointment with a CPN who said I should have a care coordinator and see a psychiatrist for an accurate dx.

Then I got an appointment through to see a CPN - assumed this would become the care coordinator (a reasonable assumption I think?). That appointment got cancelled because of the snow. I ended up having crisis team support over that weekend because I really needed it.

The rearranged appointment was for this Tuesday. Last week I realised that clashed with something else - I called them and asked to rearrange - gave my phone number and after a long conversation (they didn't seem to want to take it) my email. Heard nothing so rearranged my other appointment instead.

Turned up on Tuesday feeling quite positive. I really want help. But then the manager of the service came out to tell me they thought the appointment was cancelled, that the CPN I was due to see had another appointment but I could see the duty worker. Was a bit annoyed, not the best start.

This duty worker asked how I am and all kinds of really wishy washy questions. I asked her to explain what the aim of this appointment was as I had thought I would be seeing a care coordinator. She said that I don't have one and I am on a waiting list and she was just seeing me because I have 'presented here today' (not sure why but that phrase gave me rage, I hadn't 'presented there' I had come along to my appointment!). She then said this was only ever just a check to see how I was because I had seen the crisis team, only that is not the case because I saw the crisis team after the initial version of this appointment was cancelled, the original apt was scheduled before I ever saw them.

Lots of really patronising stuff from her. I asked her to explain what this service even offers. She said I would have to see a CPN (the care coordinator) for 8 weeks of 'assessment' before I can even see a psychiatrist.WTF is that about? I have had so much assessment after over a year of various services this was the last thing I wanted to hear. I thought this session would be about making plans and support.

I asked how long the wait is to get a care coordinator and she refused to tell me! She said it varies,I asked for an average, she said it would be unfair to tell me! Every time I pointed out that I had been led to believe this was an appointment with a care coordinator as I had an initial assessment she kept going on about the crisis team as if I was stupid, without hearing me when I said that I saw the crisis team AFTER the original appointment (which was cancelled from the snow) so this had not arisen from that.

I started to get really upset, knew I was on verge of tears, asked to just be told about this waiting list, she said I would have to call the manager. I said I had seen him just now and asked if he is still around, she was really huffy with me and made me sit in the waiting room and went to find him. Came back and said I would have to call. Left and as soon as I got to my car I couldn't stop crying.

I just felt like everything I had thought this was going to be had been a lie, that nobody listens to me and nobody is ever going to help me. I drove up to some woods and called back, still crying so much, the receptionist tried to find the manager but he was still busy.

I called the Crisis Team in absolute hysterics by this point, it was awful, I couldn't calm down I was just so upset and felt so alone and that the ppl who were supposed to help me had just treated me like an idiot and told me everything that I expected was a lie and I was going to get something else instead.

Crisis Team talked for a bit but I was still hysterical, called the centre back again, this time the receptionist said she would get the manager to call me as I probably sounded utterly unhinged.

He called straight back and actually apologised straight away having looked at the record of my phone call about rearranging he saw I never cancelled the initial appointment! I said about all the stuff that I thought I would be seeing a psychiatrist soon and have just been told something entirely different etc. End result is that he said he would get a psych apt for me as soon as possible and that while waiting for that he would meet with me to discuss concerns. I did calm down a bit, finally, but not that much, kept sobbing without warning for the rest of the day, and am still tearful now.

To just top it all off - I reversed into someone's car. I was really apologetic and gave my details straight away but she wanted to have a go at me which then descended into her yelling at me and me hysterically telling her to leave me alone while once again I couldn't stop fucking crying.

If anyone has read this whole thing, to be very MN - AIBU? I have been so upset ever since but I am not sure whether this is me being all out of proportion or what really. I feel so alone though :(

OP posts:
neverbee · 15/03/2018 22:31

Yanbu. Sounds like an extremely tough time your going through at the moment Flowers

Lifeaback · 15/03/2018 22:34

I'm sorry it didn't go well for you, sounds like a really horrible climax to a very tough period for you. At least the manager has been made aware and apologised (although this doesn't minimise your difficulties). Fingers crossed your next appointment goes better, yanbu Flowers

RaindropsAndSparkles · 15/03/2018 22:38

Oh you poor thing. It sounds as though you have come across a good person now though.

Flowers
RaindropsAndSparkles · 15/03/2018 22:38

Oh you poor thing. It sounds as though you have come across a good person now though.

Flowers
thatcoldfeeling · 17/03/2018 08:23

Thanks all. It was just the most horrible badly-dealt with experience ever!

I have since contacted my local rape crisis (have been putting this off for years but knowing I should) to see if I can have counselling through them. I have been really scared to contact them but combined with that awful appointment and a hypnosis recording I suddenly felt the time to do this is now! I also looked into help with eating disorders offered through my work, but it is just telephone counselling and I think that would not work. Am really in two minds with ED stuff - sometimes I hate it so much, and sometimes it is the thing I want to protect and hold on to more than anything.

I haven't given up on the NHS but I have no confidence in the service locally. So much upset me about that appointment.

OP posts:
6catsandcounting · 17/03/2018 13:36

It wasnt handled well but this is the sort of thing you get. Crisis team are very much about risk assessment and don't actively help long term.
It took me 3 months to get a care coordinator during which time I was presenting at a&E having overdosed every couple of weeks or the police picking me up. I think I only got one because the police got fed up and went to the crisis team office and demanded one for me to avoid the constant drain on thier resources!
Unfortunately the mh services are so underfunded even the worst affected people face a long wait for any sort of help.

thatcoldfeeling · 18/03/2018 15:19

@6catsandcounting - sorry abt your experience but I rly don't think it shld be accepted as 'the sort of thing you get'.

I had already been referred and hv waited over a year,

What is with this term 'presented/presenting'?

OP posts:
6catsandcounting · 18/03/2018 17:10

I think presenting means you get there somehow - taking yourself or being taken in an ambulance or by the police.

Sorry I didn't mean to belittle your experience and you're right we shouldn't be accepting it. It's just after 4 years I've given up expecting anything better. MH services are chronically underfunded and no amount of tosh the govt is saying about changing that is going to make much difference.

I hope you get the help you need soon

tameka · 18/03/2018 17:41

On my last psychiatrist appointment he said at the end of the appointment I have schizo affective disorder.

That was in January.

I was supposed to have my next appointment to discuss it in March but now my appointment is in end of April.

So I've seen evil faces, been paranoid at work & had to get signed off with stress, the cmht know this but I still can't see my dr for another month!

One of the CPNs was supposed to phone to tell me about schizo affective disorder but she never bothered.

Maybe the problem is that I don't bother them, I take my meds & don't attempt suicide so they don't feel they have to worry about my problems??

tameka · 18/03/2018 18:33

Sorry to hear about your bad experience OP btw

mimibunz · 18/03/2018 18:42

Flowers What a brutal time you’ve had! So sorry, OP. Sending you warm thoughts.

thatcoldfeeling · 19/03/2018 08:56

God, its shit isn't it.

I love campaigning, I feel like a campaign is needed about how absolutely awful MH services are. But the catch is nobody really wants to expose their own vulnerability to MH issues to the world and also that if you are seen as suffering MH problems you are instantly seen as less valid and liable to be labelled 'hysterical' (esp as a women).

I wish I could make the system better for everyone who is suffering further because it is so underfunded and shit.

OP posts:
6catsandcounting · 19/03/2018 10:17

I would love to do what this woman has done www.suicidecrisis.co.uk/about-us/ - maybe one day ...

thatcoldfeeling · 23/03/2018 21:09

Wow, that looks like an amazing service. What a shame it is so regionally specific.

OP posts:
6catsandcounting · 24/03/2018 10:01

They usually are but I think there are hidden ones all over. I know there is one in the north west

New posts on this thread. Refresh page