What do you do when no one will help you?

[AmberCurtain]

My MH has been bad for years- I have just sort of mumbled my way through life and somehow made it from one day to another.
Recently things have just got a whole lot worse- my grandparents both died within 18 months of one another and it has hit everyone in my family hard- especially my daughter. Her behavior has got worse and worse and she basically takes everything out on me- physically, verbally- I am her punch bag. Her dad was abusive and it feels like I'm trapped just like I was when we were together.
We are waiting for an appointment with a Psychologist to come but that isn't until may and so I just keep trudging on.
Her behavior has pretty much destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend- he has become very distant from me and I struggle to see how we can continue with our relationship the way it is. (It would be foolish for me to blame all of our relationship issues on my daughter- she isn't solely to blame. My boyfriend clearly has commitment issues which have help our relationship back massively- we've been together 4 years and still don't live together. I'm trying to buy a house at the moment-but doing it on my own again because he's pretty much too scared)
I have got to the point where I can no longer cope- my grans funeral was on Monday and it has knocked me for six. I have no choice but to get up in the morning, I have a job I need to go to in order to pay the bills and the kids need to go to school. I lay awake for ages this morning just wishing the ground would swallow me up but alas it didn't so I got up and did what I had to do.
I tried to call my GP to get an appointment- the receptionist basically told me if I was going to work it wasn't an emergency.
I asked my mum if she could help me this evening but she is busy with my sisters children and probably has enough to cope with having just lost her mum.

I'm so tired- I'm tired of being a single parent. I'm tired of everything being such a struggle. I'm tired of waking up feeling exhausted. Everything feels too much. My house is a tip. The kids are miserable. I can't cope with anything.

I'm unsure of where to turn. It feels like no one cares- when I do try to help myself and seek out help it just backfires and right now all that occupies my mind is the thought of dying. Sometimes it feels like that is my only option.

Definitely go back to the GP. If they operate an emergencies only policy then try to look into registering elsewhere with more access. You do need to see someone.

Are there any support groups near you for single parents? Social services/GP/local library/google etc may be able to tell you. Sometimes just realising you're not the only one managing this can be a huge help, as well as a great source of advice

Good luck to you, this sounds so hard x

I sat in the car and cried after I called the GP- It has taken me a while to pluck up the courage to try and book an appointment and get some help and the receptionist was horrible.

Don't give up. Try another surgery if you need to. Some GPs are better with mental health than others

Hi I noticed you were kind enough to reply to me last night and just realised this is your thread.

Finding mental health support can be a complete nightmare. I've found you really need to dig around sometimes. Not sure where you are in the UK but ThinkAction are free and offer all sorts of therapy in Kent and Surrey I think. My midwife recommended them to me. But even if they don't serve your area maybe contact them to ask if they know of anything similar where you are?

I've found 99% of GP receptionists are horrible, must be part of the job spec! Try not to take it personally and don't let that one person be a barrier to what you need and are entitled to.

xox

I will try again tomorrow morning. Just floored me a bit when I had finally plucked up the courage to get help to be shot down so quickly......I'm feeling very vulnerable and it doesn't take much to upset me at the moment.

No one around me seems to take it seriously. I've got quite bad scars from self harm.....they're from some time ago but no one has ever mentioned them. I'm usually pretty discreet about keeping them covered but there are times when I forget...I've seen them eye them up but no one has ever bothered to check if I'm ok.....whilst I didn't do it for attention......it was just a way of coping at a very hard time in my life.....if I saw them on someone else's arms I'd make sure they were ok.

My kids are home now so back in mum mode.....god knows what we're going to have for dinner. All I want to do is sleep. I guess at least I managed work today

How are you getting on?