Hello everyone.
I have two children aged 11 and 6. I really wanted another some day and fell pregnant a couple of weeks back. I had always been terrified of having another baby because at around 30 weeks with my second son I suffered crippling anxiety and depression and was on suicide watch and under mental health crisis team. It was the scariest time of my life. I took a while to recover following it. This time the anxiety started kicking in before I knew I was pregnant. It got worse and worse and at 5 weeks and 3 days I had a termination out of fear it would all happen again and I would loose my two children. This was just under 3 days ago. I thought I'd start to feel better but I'm not doing. I cry a lot. My mind whizzes, I can't concentrate. I get hot flushes. I'm so scared I'm stuck like this. I was already taking escitalopram also known as lexapro 20mg but wasn't really feeling the benefit as been on it years and doctor prescribed me 2mg of diazepam twice a day. I just feel like I want to sleep and not wake up.