TRIED to have a heart to heart with, I feel it fell on deaf ears :(

[Fedup2]

I've tried to talk to dh about how depressed I'm feeling etc, how i've been referred to counselling as i've felt suicidal etc and how i'm feeling in general, but he either can't, or doesn't want to understand, he says that i should do what he does, get in a mood, have a rant etc and 'get over it', i told him that wasn't an option etc.

What can I do to make him understand how low i'm feeling?
What can he do to offer me support?

i dont know if i can offer you any advice as i was just about to post something similar on here!i just wanted to say i can understand how you feel,my dp deals with things in a similar way,ie lets it build up,has a rant at me when it gets too much,then he feels fine.whereas i like to deal with things as they crop up.

when youre feeling depressed you cant just have a rant and feel better,but men find it very hard to understand and dont like problems they cant 'fix' iyswim.

have you tried directing him toward websites etc that could give him more info?when i was really bad with AND my dp read up on it and it helped him to know that some of the stuff i was doing/saying were 'typical' of depression,rather than part of who i am.

sorry i cant help much.

People who have never been through depression have trouble understanding how it feels.

When I was working, a colleague of mine said about another, who was off sick with depression, "Is she even depressed? I saw her in town the other day..."
I had to tell her that sometimes you don't want to go out and face the world but, at other times, you get sick of seeing the same 4 walls. She didn't get it.

I think the first thing your DH can do for you is to learn to be patient with you. You can't just get over it - it takes time.

Like Divastrop, I suggest a book or a website. They can explain it in much better way

I don't know how else he can help you. It depends on what you want really.. Some people with depression would like everyone to stand up and take notice and do everything they can to help, whereas others would much rather nobody even mentioned the D-word.

Have to agree with the previous posters, if you've never suffered depression, it's very difficult to understand because a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that you're just feeling a bit down. When I think anyone who's suffered will know, it's far, far removed from that. Men, particularly seem to want to 'fix' things, so if they don't have an immediate solution to the problem, I find they tend to get rather frustrated. And there is no quick fix for depression.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now, would your dh go to see a (preferably sympathetic) gp with you? Maybe if he heard it from someone else and had a broader understanding it would help.

I think he would go to see the gp with me, but I don't think he would take any notice.

I just don't know what to do, I feel that I have only 1 friend to talk to, but, don't want to burden her as she is not too good at the minute.

I will have a look for some sites, but don't think he would read them tbh as he has a short attention span about reading anything that isn't anything to do with sports. I feel like constantly crying and want to curl up under my duvet and die/cry and he offers nothing

If it gets too much before you can get to see GP, I would phone the samaritans. I find the sound of a non judgemental voice, listening to me, can sometimes help me make it through. I'm sure there is a support group on the web somewhere, but can't remember the name. Someone else on here recommended homestart, you could have a look.

I used to have homestart but they only go up to your youngest child being 5

Fed-up, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. It must be doubly frustrating to feel this way and not feel supported by those who are closest to you.
blokes often (and I am generalising) find the notion of depression uncomfortable to deal with, it is 'emotions' or 'hormones' and not something they find easy to talk about. Like Divastrop says, men like to 'fix' stuff, not talk about it....

Like others have said, there is a lot of advice online on how to support someone with depression

here is a good one to start you off

A
ctually this is better
here

Hope you get some support soon.

Thank you all for your replies. I suppose if I really wanted to do it, I could very easily, I have enough medication to fell a dozen people, the only thing that stops me at the min is my love for my 5 year old, I was her age when my mum died and can still remember the pain and confusion i went through.

I don't even think the love for dh is enough really.