Is this anxiety or something else? Schizophrenia, delusions?

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Posted on AIBU and thought this board might be better. This is after a traumatic event.

I cannot think without anxiety in my thoughts. It’s everywhere. And it’s not limited to one thing. I feel like I’m being watched and stalked. That something is following me. I do not feel safe anywhere and I’m constantly looking over my shoulder. I can’t breathe without feeling like I am about to die. I cry constantly, I’m shouting and screaming at DP who’s done nothing, I’m arsey with everyone. I just feel like something terrible is about to happen and I’m constantly looking for it. I feel like I have no way out. I’m extremely paranoid, to the extent I want to somehow escape but from what I do not know. I don’t even want to ask anyone for help anymore because I’m now at the stage where I don’t trust anyone.

I can’t sleep anymore, I barely eat, I’m jumpy and I honestly feel I’m about to have a breakdown.

I’m aware this isn’t real and is all some sort of cruel altered reality my mind is creating, but it feels more and more real every day.

I don’t remember it ever being this bad. Ever.

I get scared opening letters in case they contain threats. I’m starting to think my nightmares are warnings and that certain words I read online are trying to hint at me.

I had a phone assessment today. My GAD is 21 and PHQ9 is 24. So I’m clearly distressed. They told me they’d ring back but they did not.

I’ve been told I may have PTSD, but this seems really odd. I still have insight atm but I feel like I may lose it. Am I developing schizophrenia? This has happened once before, but not this bad, 10 years ago.

Anyone?

I suggest bugging your GP for referral to psych services and giving Mind a call to see if there are any other options or advice

I think the people I spoke to are sorting my referral.

Sounds like severe anxiety to me, and that can be a major part of PTSD. Something like schizophrenia really is only given as a diagnosis when there is a history of very severe symptoms with loss of insight and repeat hospitalisation etc. That you still have your insight is a good sign and definitely means help now can help prevent it getting any worse.

Are you on any meds already or had a change/missed any? Sometimes when you're body is adjusting to meds - either going up or down in levels, or missing a day or two, can trigger these types of symptoms in the short term, and I definitely agree to get in touch with your GP or a mental health charity like Mind or Rethink.

I know it's scary but pushing for help is the right thing to do, reaching out here is a good start

That sounds very frightening. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. From what I know, PTSD can cause severe anxiety and sometimes paranoia but if you have noted a change and aren't feeling safe, it may be better for you to seek help now. A Gp referral may take some time. Are you at home now? Is it possible for your DH to take you to A&E now? It sounds like you might be having a bit of a crisis and would do well to be attended to soon.

I’m at home but I have a two year old, I don’t want to go into hospital either because hospitals are a trigger for me (childhood surgery plus recent traumatic events led me to have to have many procedures).

No meds as of yet. I feel okay right now but the okay feelings is a “I don’t feel QUITE as shit as normal” rather than feeling alright.

Is your DP around over the weekend? Is he supportive? Can you scrub doing anything remotely anxiety inducing and plan something simple like going for a nice family walk? DVD or doing something creative together with your LO? Just to keep things in the here and now as much as possible and then chase up some support from your GP on Monday. Those kinds of things really helped me when I was suffering badly from anxiety and I got on ADs and referred to CBT which really helped - I was amazed how well. Really hope you find something that helps you soon.

If things feel too bizarre you could always google your local mental health trust to see if they have a 24hr crisis line you could ring for support before Monday.

Hope you manage to have a peaceful weekend.