Overwhelmed by keeping twin toddlers safe

[Wordy15]

I'm a SAHM to twin boys aged 3. They are starting pre-school 3 days a week soon. When I take them anywhere busy, I get overwhelmed and panicky. I understand there is a need to be extra vigilant with twins but I am too overprotective and would sometimes just prefer to stay home.

It's like I'm scanning everywhere for potential exits/falls and I'm overthinking everything.
It's creeping into my social life whereby I feel so overwhelmed, like I can't deal with the added things to think about around socialising. It's like they take up all of my brainspace if that makes sense.
I want them to feel I'm relaxed and in charge when we're out, not this wound up Mum who won't let them go or out of her sight!

Hi, my twins are younger than yours, but I really identify with the constant worry about keeping them safe and the mental load that brings. On a practical level, are you in a local twins group? Mine has been a lifeline and has a Facebook group which is great for advice on this sort of thing. TAMBA also have a helpline whichbyou could call? Be kind to yourself, I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job.

I have two toddlers (not twins but close in age). My eldest especially is prone to running off, escaping out doors etc. I am quite anxious anyway so I find it tough and know exactly what you mean about it taking up all your brain space. Constantly being on alert is exhausting.
I became very strict with myself about where we would go so that it was only places that I felt comfortable and in control. So eg. Library, one particular soft play that is small and easy to keep track of them, an outdoor toddler group was a real life saver to me. Large field and really nowhere they could go. The freedom calmed them down a bit also and I got some great support there from others. We only went to parks that were manangable and well contained. Once you identify your 'safe' places just do them on rotation weather dependent. I decided to only do online shopping to avoid that nightmare and just avoided social plans to places that just didn't suit me because I knew it would be tricky. My mental health was more important than being a bit picky with venue when meeting people. Sometimes going with a friend who has no kids or just one kid might help. I have a really hands on friend who just seems to know what help I need without me asking.
Don't put pressure on yourself to go out places all the time. A day round the house and garden is totally fine. Getting a scooter for my 3 yr old was good as he was concentrating on going that instead of causing chaos or running off.
Sorry this is a big ramble but I felt I had to reply with some stuff that I've found helped. It is also only a phase, it will get easier as they get older. Good luck.