Really dealing with the past through psychoanalysis - what works?

[PhyllisDietrichson]

I can see the sort of person I've become (again) and I don't like it. I complain about other people's behaviour or bemoan my situation to friends, but it leaves a bad taste because I want to be that other person I know I can be who's chilled, kind and funny.

I've had my fair share of hard knocks but I can't seem to move on in any permanent way. The negativity returns and leaks out, especially if I'm low and I find myself moaning to whoever I'm spending time with. I've been much better recently thanks to HRT, but last weekend I went away with girlfriends. In the run up I'd felt down, but I managed to keep negativity at bay for 2 days, then on the long shared journey home someone asked about my OH and I had a good old moan again and I painted such a bleak picture.

Days later I'm still mortified. This urge to focus on the negative is like an unwelcome beast that creeps out and sits next to me maudlin and sulky and becomes bigger than the thing I'm actually dwelling on. I know I have a lot to be thankful for too. The good actually balances the bad stuff well, but it's the bad I'm drawn to and I realise the burden of the past is dominating now.

Like the advert with the literacy gremlin, I want to kick out the negativity monster once and for all. I've had professional help before - PTSD / EMDR treatment and counselling two years ago and at other times in the past too. But I'd like to bust this out the water permanently, so is it more in dept Psychoanalysis I need? Wondered what your experiences are with the big guns ? I have some private health care through work so that might be an option. What's helped you?

Sorry you’re having a hard time. There are lots of approaches to / models for counselling, might be worth reading up on them a bit and considering which might suit you. If you’ll be paying for this also suggest investigating qualifications, eg BACP.

I've had analysis. Its a big commitment in terms of time and money. I was going 3 x a week for a while. I had a very positive experience of it and it's impacted positively on my life and I've made some big changes. Its not a quick fix but if you really want to work on the deeper "structure of self" it can be life changing

Thanks Harriet. Yes i think i need to dig down and work these knots out properly, so know it's a commitment

Not necessarily psychoanalysis, but yes definitely psychotherapy. And open-ended. It's bloody hard work but well worth it imo. As well as BACP, check UKCP too for therapists. Try as many as you need to find someone you fit with.

Good luck