Do you fall out with/cut off people more when depressed?

[Dojos]

Hi ladies,
I've battled depression on and off for the last 3 years. I've a tendency to withdraw but recently I decided to get tougher on self preservation and deal with toxic people in my life. I cut off my parents and sister after way too many years of control, narcissism and self esteem battering, my marriage is struggling because I feel he doesn't see my pain, Im totally intolerant of any incompetency from my special needs child's team, another mother shamed me with total vitriol to the other class mothers for sending my child to school with a bug when I thought he was better and I I just can't take the pain of seemingly being the one to whom everyone thinks it's ok to treat less than how I would treat them. Do I need anti-depressants again, am I just unlucky with the people I have in my life, or am I being overly sensitive and choosing to see the negatives? I just don't know and I'm exhausted trying to figure it out. I don't sleep, I'm holding down a great full time career job that I'm worried I'll poison next, we're a few weeks off leaving our house with nowhere to go and our kids are leaving their private school to try and save costs. I feel like such a failure. What is wrong with me that nothing is ever smooth? 😞 Why do I feel everyone else has it sorted and judge me for not doing?

Maybe yes, but it's a bit of a chicken and egg situation, i.e. which came first. Did the tendency to depression make you more wary of or more affected by the negative behaviour of others? Or was it the negative/toxic behaviour that helped push you into a depressive response? Or maybe both?

I try now to pick my battles better. Rather than picking up on every little thing, as I used to, I try to see the bigger picture and ignore the less important annoyances. I should add that I often don't succeed with this but with practice I am getting better but progress is sometimes bumpy. Negative and toxic people drain you of your emotional energy and make it harder to identify what is and isn't most important. I try now to give myself space to calmly react to provocations and decide which to 'take on' and deal with and which to ignore. Very easy to write down but much more difficult to implement in practice!

Also, you have a lot of big changes going on at the moment, so things will get better once those issues resolve so try not to be too hard on yourself. In the meantime, what have you to lose by seeing the GP, particulary if you've found ADs helpful in the past.

Oh and the grass always seems greener on the other side. It rarely is. People often just tell you or give you a view of their life that is what they want you to see. Very few people have their life all sorted out!

I think I'm like you and lately just cannot tolerate people's bullshit and plaster a smile on and pretend to get along. Have been depressed for awhile but it's like I can finally see the crap people try to pull and I won't put up with it anymore, think I have finally after a lot of thinking, reading and introspection have boundaries.

Do you think antidepressants could help take the edge off? I have mirtazapine, which even if it doesn't help with depression (time will tell) at least zonk me out at night. Maybe have a chat to your doctor?

Yes. It's a warning sign for me, the rage and irritability.

I don't cut people off intentionally..but I do hide away and don't want to speak to anyone. I don't mean it to be hurtful though..I just don't have the strength for it...and I assume that I will just make a mess of it anyway.

You have a great career, kids in private school, yet you are about to pull them out and be made homeless. There is more to this than you are saying here.