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Husband doesn't want to move out of parents home

6 replies

Senna2017 · 25/02/2018 09:55

About 15 months ago, after 4 months in our own place, my husband had a mental breakdown and we had to move into his parents home to have him taken care of while I worked. My husband blamed the flat we had moved into for his poor mental health and said he'd felt lonely and scared because of the area we were living in. We decided to give up the flat and place our names back on the council housing register in the hopes of finding somewhere nicer to live. I fell pregnant a few months later and my husband attended CBT for a year, which he recentally was discharged from. Since having our son my husband was in a good place. However, we have now started being offered houses from the council, a few in not very nice areas we have turned down but the most recent was in a lovely quiet area and my husband has admitted that he has started to feel depressed again since being offered housing as he is not ready to move out of his parents home! I feel like I have done my part by moving in with his parents and getting him help. I can't stand living here any longer - we live in the spare room with our son and the house is overflowing with our belongings. My husband thinks I should understand that he needs more time but I want him to try to face his fear of living alone again. We lived together in another town for 3 years before moving home and there were no issues about living alone. My parents and his mum are telling me to accept the house we have been offered and to move into it with my son and hope my husband comes too. But I'm afraid this will push him over the edge or make him hurt himself. They're hoping it will make him seek help. I have until the end of the week to decide and I'm completely stuck.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/02/2018 09:58

Accept it. At some point you need to put uou and the kids first. Even his mum is telling you to.

He is an adult. And you are not responsible to put your life on hold or martyr yourselves for his health. You've done so much already.

Take the house and move. It's his call where he stays.

Lemongingertea80 · 25/02/2018 10:02

Take the house and he can stay behind with his parents.

Elllicam · 25/02/2018 10:02

I would accept it too.

SomeKnobend · 25/02/2018 10:08

Take the house. He may join you in time but you can't put your life on hold living with his parents indefinitely. He may decide just to stay with his parents in the end. Don't waste years of your life waiting for that decision, get things set up for yourself and your son in the meantime.

Caselgarcia · 25/02/2018 10:14

I would accept it, you need to move on with your life with your son. Don't let him hold you back. Surely his parents don't want you all there long term?

Happened · 25/02/2018 11:03

I'd also take the house.

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