Physical symptoms when others are ill.

[Looneytune253]

Please help me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t think I’ve got emetophobia but as soon as my kids are showing signs of illness I get all panicky and end up making myself physically ill. I’ve been like this a few years now and thought I was getting better but my daughter has vomited tonight and has a fever above 40 and I got myself in such a state I almost passed out. My dh was dealing with my daughter but I went all hot and sick and had diarrhoea almost immediately. When I was really bad I could just see on fb that an acquaintance had a tummy bug and I’d get ill straight away. It seems to be confined to tummy bugs and I can tell myself I’m just being silly but it doesn’t help. I shake and go cold and hot and it’s very much a physical thing. I feel hopeless for helping my children. Any advice?

Just to clarify I don’t think I’m emetophobic because I’m not scared of the actual vomit. I’ve just cleaned out the basin from my daughter and I’ve been known to try and make myself vomit to get rid of the nauseous feeling so I’m not petrified of the actual vomit itself.

It sounds more like a severe panic attack and anxiety related.. have you been to the doctor about it?

I did visit a gp a while ago when I was almost constantly nauseous. I was prescribed some anti sickness medication but when I went back a second time they wouldn’t give any and signposted me to the nhs self help app. Maybe it’s time to revisit that. Tbh I found it quite useless at the time. I’m just waiting for nhs to call me back tonight about my daughter

I get like this when my little one is poorly - as pp said, its anxiety/panic related for me. For me, it only lasts a few minutes and then I'm usually able to pull myself together.

I think it's worse because kids tend to be sick at night which is when my anxiety and panic is at its worse anyway. I'd speak to your doctor about it and see if they can help.

Do you think any particular thoughts when you imagine someone getting ill? Do you feel scared/panic/worry?

Do you feel like you worry quite a lot generally? It can be hard to see it in yourself sometimes though, since it seems normal to you

Just a simple comment like ‘I feel sick’ from one of the kids and they can fall asleep but I’m left pacing and unable to sleep. I can usually take a anti diarrhoea medicine and or buscopan and fall asleep after an hour or so but until then I feel so so ill. The worst type of poorly when I’m begging my dh to help me. I feel so horrendous. I genuinely feel so crazy cos it’s all in my head!!

Master it’s just this issue. I am quite socially anxious but can power through that most of the time now. I don’t think I worry to much about anything else. Maybe just what others think, that’s all but that doesn’t take over my life.

So what is it that happens physically to you when one of your DC says they feel sick/is sick? Fast heart rate/sweaty palms/feel sick/diarreah/feel faint? And is it just a reaction to vomit or any kind of illness?

Have you lost someone close to you due to illness or has anyone been critically ill when you were younger? What was your upbringing like regarding illnesses in the home?

Sorry, just realised that’s loads of questions! please don’t think the fact that this is just in your head makes it any less “real”. Anxiety can be debilitating & absolutely horrendous.

Yep as soon as they feel sick I start feeling panicky and breathing heavy, pacing, then I come over all hot and usually quite quickly have diarrhoea. Then I will get freezing cold and full on shaking and try to go to sleep but will be back and forward to the loo before the Anti d medication kicks in and stops my bowel from contracting.

My childhood was fine and no major losses. My mum has many issues though including revelling in illnesses. I try so so hard not to be like her though. She has many many issues and I’m deliberately determined to not be the same as her. We don’t get on very well due to her issues etc.

I would go to the GP again, maybe a different one if you didn’t feel the last one was very helpful. Say you are having really bad panic attacks and anxiety and ask to be referred for CBT. Stress how much this can take over your life and how bad the physical symptoms can be.

Have you thought about medication? I used to have panic attacks and they were the scariest things I’ve ever experienced. I took propranolol which helped a lot - they decrease the physical symptoms of a panic attack and I think could potentially really help you. I’m now on Sertraline, an antidepressant, which has made me feel so so much better anxiety wise. I was always a bit anti medication at first but I wish I’d just got on with it and tried it years ago, it’s made such a different to my quality of life.

How often do you feel like this?

I used to get it all the time maybe once every other week or so I would be up all night with it and then have minor symptoms every other day or so. I thought I’d got over it as it hasn’t really happened for a while (avoiding alcohol, sugars etc to control the ibs and that seemed to help a lot) but when my daughter vomited it all came flooding back! The more I think about it the more I wonder if it is affecting me more than it should. I do worry about other people and their opinions of me and if I publically make a mistake I worry about it a lot. I hate anything that draws attention to me. I have quite an outgoing personality though when I’m comfortable with the people.