Help me help my DH

[NakedMum33and3rd]

DH is really suffering with anxiety. He is not eating he is miserable. He keeps throwing up.
I managed to convince him last month to go to the doctor. The doctor gave him a helpline number to call and invited him to another appointment in a month. DH didn’t ring the number and he just cancelled the doctors appointment for tomorrow. He has lost so much weight. He won’t eat anything I make him. He is truly miserable. It’s our 7 yr anniversary today and I wrote him a lovely letter and he just stared at it.
I suffer with anxiety and take Citalopram so I can understand how hard it must be for him but I just don’t know how to convince DH to get help. I know I can’t force him.
We have 2 DC’s and a 3rd on the way. We both have great jobs and live a comfortable life. Help me help him. I’m so afraid for him.

I think you need to phone the dr and see if there's a cpn would can visit.

Could I speak to the receptionist or would I need a doctors appointment?

I'd speak to the receptionist and ask for a very urgent telephone call from the gp, or cpn if available. The cpn may need a gp referral to go out but a telephone consultation with a gp is vital in your case. He needs help asap as you know. He's on a very downward slope

Got him an appointment for tomorrow.

That's excellent! Will he go himself or accompanied? If for some reason you can't go with him phone the gp first or drop a letter in to be read before his appointment (I do this) to make sure the gp knows exactly what's happening and can directly ask about the behaviours he's presenting.

Well done OP - I hope everything goes well tomorrow. Don't let him back out! Good luck :)

Do you think I should go with him? I am supposed to be working but may be able to take some time off.

I think you should go with him to make sure he goes and to make sure the GP knows how bad things are.

Maybe go with him and then you can go in if he wants you to or wait in reception if he doesn’t.

When I was with my ex I wanted him there sometimes but not others, but I am someone who found it easy to talk to my doctor.

Maybe write a few notes together before of things for him to say as it can be a bit difficult sometimes especially to start the conversation and it’s easy to forget to say things you / he really wanted to say.

In my area you can self refer for cbt / help so that might be one route they discuss. I found some of this useful as it was all about trying to make my brain think more logically for example.

Phone rings - anxious brain tells me this is someone calling me to tell me my parents have died in a terrible accident.

CBT Brain - Think logically, is that likely or is it just a phone call?

I’m not saying I don’t still have those thoughts but it has helped me look at my own thought pattern.

Ps just re read your message and yes pls go in and talk to doctor as well to make sure he knows how serious it is. You can always then step out and leave your DH with Dr if you think he wants to speak alone too.

It went well. He has got a referral for CBT. Doctor was good and DH was able to articulate really well how he is feeling. He has been signed off work for two weeks. Thank you for your support.

Excellent news! Well done OP. Hope the cbt appt comes through quickly.