I've been with my new chap almost a year .
We were both very aware that he was vulnerable when we met .
Bit of background .... I'm 47 he's 45 .
I've had one previous 27 yr relationship ( 3 yrs single / dating ) . He's had 2 previous relationships .
I have dc he does not .
One of my 'tick list' for dating was not to date a guy who hasn't been on his own at least a year . Possibly harsh but that's just what I wanted ... until I met dp . He'd been on his own 6 months and separated in the shared house 12-18 mths before.
I have no idea what went on but I know he was hurt when she had an affair and broke up their engagement . I'm sure he wasn't blameless and doesmt profess to be .
I just didn't want to be someone's rebound and hope after knowing him 13 months and exclusively dating 11 that I'm not .
He suffers with anxiety and depression .
He was on meds for 6 months but not since just before we met . He's just come off them .
We do communicate and he's open and honest .
I have seen his anxiety first hand once . I turned my phone off all night and he was so worried he called my daughter and got himself in a real state . I felt awful . Initially he was quite needy but it's been good to see him slowly become less so as his confidence and mental health has improved .
He is happy to check in with me regularly re his mood as he did admit being suicidal prior to when he was on meds .
He does have a good relationship with his sister who has been a good support to him .
He sleeps a lot when he's stressed and does have a very stressful job .
We discussed the sleep and he said he's aware it's an issue and that he needs me to compromise .... he needs to sleep one day and me to suggest things to do to get up and out other days .
I try not to 'Fix' him iykwim ? rather support him and listen .
We think he's in a much better place now and it's different but good seeing him more confident . Were both aware that he's still vulnerable tho .
I asked him on sat what helps when he's down or stressed and he likes reading which he does a lot .
Can I do anything else ?
I don't want to come across as trying to make everything better or make him talk to me but I've told him I'm here for him even if it's 3 am and he wants to call me .... I said he doesn't have to tell me anything but just not to be on his own if he's really low anytime .
He knows I'd come to the GP with him if needed and he's aware of counselling options but he needs to organise that himself I don't want to be pushy . He's a proud man and it must be hard for him to open up anyway .
Is there anything else I can do or just be there x I love this man so much .
TIA