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Mental health

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Original poster

Had enough, want a cig for the first time in years

22 replies

lifesteeth · 02/05/2007 17:16

Last week I was on top of the world. I'd just landed a new job, started an OU course that I've been wanting to do for ages and we have a holiday booked to somewhere I've always wanted to travel.

Yesterday things didnt seem so rosey. The job is still there but I have sod all to wear and no money to buy anything, the endless ammount of paperwork is boring me to death and driving me mad.

My son came home yesterday crying that he was being bullied (again). I went into the head and she told me more or less that he would get bullied wherever he went as its in his personality. I was then told by a youth worker that if he doesnt toughen up he will have a life of hell at secondry school (something I was already worrying about).

Last night he was crying that his dad doesnt love him anymore, prefers his girlfriends kids to his own sons, never spends time with him, never phoned him on his first day of school, never phones him full stop when all the other kid's father do...Sent father a text asking him to get in touch and not heard a thing from him which has confirmed DS's fears.

I kept my youngest off school today to see the optician for some new glasses, they say his prescription has ran out and he needs to go back to the hospital, I phone the hospital and they say he needs the glasses and I should phone the optician back, I phone them back and they say no...phone the hospital back...eventually they agreed to make some up but my son was off school for no reason and I took the day off work for no reason too.

Went to pick the kids up and eldest has been bullied again. I phone the other local school and they have a place for one but not the other...nobody will help me, least of all their so called father...

I'm also fat and frumpy, cant stick to a diet because I'm a greedy cow, I have no clothes for summer and no money to buy any, this morning it was so bad that I had to drag some jeans out of the dryer and put them on half damp as it was all I had to wear.

Today I just feel so shit I feel like going to the shop and buying some cigerettes, I could just do with one...I've not smoked for 6 years. The more I think about it the more appealing it sounds.

OP posts:

NoodleStroodle · 02/05/2007 17:20

I'm the wrong person to reply to this because everyone will shout at me...but...very occasionally, when things have gone hideously wrong I do have a sneaky one in the garden. One only. And I know I wont want another until the wotsits hit the fan again. It's a vice. It kills you. It is ruinously expensive. In the garden. Not infront of DC - only when they have gone to bed.

lazycat · 02/05/2007 17:54

Very sorry you're having such a hard time - hope things improve!

Great that you haven't smoked for so long - took me ages to give up; the problem was I kept "just having one", which always turned into more...

Even though you're having a crappy time, try to resist. Spend the cigarette money on clothes. (Unless you're one of those lucky people who can just have one occasionally and not feel the need to turn into a chain smoker, like me.)

Wotzsaname · 02/05/2007 18:00

lifesteeth - don't buy the fags...it won't help and you know it.
Be good. I was in tears on Sat (pmt and other stuff) and wanted one sooo badly, but didn't. Feel much better today and so glad I didn't do it on Saturday as I would feel bad now.

I have been following your post about ds. Could you get him in? When another place comes you you'll hopefully get other dc in.

Don't make him stay in that horrid school, just because you can't get them both in. Share lifts or anything?

Nightynight · 02/05/2007 18:04

No no no dont have a cigarette, think of all the money you ahve saved, and how your lungs are recovering....do anything just dont have a cigarette!!!!!!!!
tomorrow will be better, you will manage to eat less

does that help?

the bullying sounds shit. What an awful response from the school - surely that's not normal?? How can you put pressure on them to be more constructive?
Are there no other schools in the area?
I personally had words with the parents and the bullies when my dd was being bullied, but appreciate this isnt everyones cup of tea.

southeastastra · 02/05/2007 18:27

hope you haven't disappeared off to the shops!

i have no idea why the youth worker told you your son should toughen up. that sounds out of order imo. for what it's worth i had the same worries about my son starting secondary but he has got tons more friends and settled in great.

everyone has days like this, it seems everything goes wrong. if you get the fags that will just be another thing that has gone wrong. please resist you have done so well 6 years! as a smoker finding it hard to quit i am envious.

tomorrow is another day

Original poster

lifesteeth · 02/05/2007 19:54

Thanks for the replies, I was doing ok after I posted this and now my mum has annoyed me again (see post in relationships) and I feel like sneaking off to the shops again...but I won't, it would only worry my son further which he doesnt need right now.

Hopefully the sun will be shining on me tomorow and things will seem a bit brighter.

OP posts:

NoodleStroodle · 02/05/2007 19:55

Well done Lifesteeth - you are a stronger woman than you

filthymindedvixen · 02/05/2007 20:10

lifesteeth, as a new ex smoker, having gone through 3 months of strife I just want to reinforce - you do not need a fag. It will not make anything better/easier to cope with, it will just add a load more crap into your life.

However, you do sound as though you have a hell of a lot to cope with at the moment, big sympathy.
Feel free to offload on here to me or anyone else. That will do you far more good than crumbling and going back on the fags.

WideWebWitch · 02/05/2007 20:13

Sorry you're having a hard time of it. Allen Carr's book says NO, because then you will be a fat smoker and will have compounded all your problems by adding smoking to the mix. He's right imo. The problems will all still be there but you'll have added a new, expensive, stinky one that might just kill you into the bargain.

LynetteScavo · 02/05/2007 20:17

Lifesteeth, maybe the full moon is resposnsible for this nicotine craving? I haven't smoked in over 9 years, and I thought it might be nice to sit in the garden and have a cigarette just now when I went to get the wahing in. Then I thought some canabis might be good, but I dont know where to get any! Have you paid for your holiday? Where are you going?

filthymindedvixen · 02/05/2007 20:22

yeah but you'd need some baccy in that joint, no? So whole addiction thing starts up again...

charliecat · 02/05/2007 20:25

Lifesteeth, If you have a fag you will be able to add to your list of disapointments that you didnt manage to stay off the fags.
Please dont. But do add to your list, Managed to steer clear of the fags, and achievement many smokers die never knowing.

It really wont help and you will sob your heart out when you realise the fags have hold of you again.

charliecat · 02/05/2007 20:25

An achievement...

filthymindedvixen · 02/05/2007 20:30

Hiya CC - wondered if your antenna was prickling...

charliecat · 02/05/2007 20:41

Hello nice smelling one Where has the other thread gone? Ive scanned up and down health at least 3 times but I cant find it

filthymindedvixen · 02/05/2007 20:42

sorry lifesteeth, didn't mean to hi-jack, but CC isa fervent and very effective anti-smoking guru on here.

Are you OK?

Original poster

lifesteeth · 02/05/2007 22:03

Feeling a bit better now, all in all life is good, I have a hell of a lot to be thankful for so I'm going to stop whinging, I'm usually a very optimistic person, just every now and again my barriers break down, same as everyone I suppose.

Glad I didn't go to the shop, one thing I remember about smoking was the constant smell...I've just had a nice long bath (missing a program I wanted to watch in the mean time grrr!) and I smell all nice and perfumy! lol

Nothing is achieved by moping and feeling sorry for yourself so I'm going to get this interview over with tomorow, phone the new school and talk nicely to the head and hopefully my new DS game will have arrived so I can relax with it tomorow night ...it's the little things... lol

Thanks for the support everyone, I will let you know how my job interview goes. Best of luck to everyone still trying to quit smoking xx

OP posts:

Wotzsaname · 02/05/2007 23:40

good luck for interview, well done for not going to get cigs!

Original poster

lifesteeth · 03/05/2007 19:03

Got the job felt great up until ringing my mum just now and realising she really didnt care and her and my grandma have been discussing how I'm exagurating about my problems.

I can really feel myself snapping sooner or later!

OP posts:

charliecat · 03/05/2007 19:03

Snap but dont smoke WELL DONE on getting the job

filthymindedvixen · 03/05/2007 19:10

fan-bloody-tastic news about getting the job

Now you'll have some spare cash for clothes!

Bucketsofdynomite · 06/05/2007 13:49

Well done not smoking AND getting the job!
I had my first one since Feb last night and wish I hadn't. Just wanted something fun as am fed up with ill DH - evil I know but don't see why I have to be miserable too and I don't like feeling like a single mum. He is probably going to quit his job due to stress and that is stressing me out. And I feel awful for having such shallow ungrateful feelings and I'm bursting to shout them at someone too.
Anyway, my point is the fag wasn't fun. And neither would the big fry-up that I crave I'm sure. What do people do to let off steam other than chat on Mumsnet? I need a vice!

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