Feeling awful

[Giraffelant]

I've had depression for a long time; it's more or less under control with meds, but manifests itself more as anxiety than depression.

I'd been fairly ok until recently, but over the past few weeks I've been feeling very anxious again. I'm constantly impatient with the kids (DS is 3.5; DD is about to be 1). Just can't be bothered to interact, get fed up with DS constantly whining to play etc. I wake up feeling so anxious that I'm unable to look after them - I've had to phone my mum to come and help a few times, or DH has stayed until close to DS's Nursery time.

I went to the GP and he gave me Propranolol- 10mg up to 3 times a day. It has helped a bit, but I still feel anxious and edgy a lot of the time when I have the kids on my own.

What can I do? Go back to GP? Will he be able to give me anything stronger? I'm also on 150mg Sertraline every day.

Yes go back - ask to be referred for CBT or counselling (or whatever you think would help).

The 'something stronger' would probably be diazepam, which can work well but also makes you a bit out of it and is addictive (it is the drug that used to be known as valium). I have it to take sometimes but it does slightly scare me. I have had some very zoned out times on it when necessary though.

Thanks @thatcoldfeeling. I've had CBT before (twice), and it didn't work for me. It feels like this is a temporary blip, so I think a change of meds might help. The GP mentioned Diazepam last time, but said he dislikes prescribing it because it's addictive. I wonder whether I can take a higher dose of Propranolol- I just feel I need a bit more.

I have also twice had CBT and twice found it utterly useless but I didn't want to project my CBT hatred! I have found more straightforward counselling without the patronising CBT element to be far more helpful, but impossible to get more than 6 sessions on NHS.

I'm not sure about dose rates with Propranolol, its a beta blocker isn't it, so I think it has other effects on heart rate or something, but that might just be my highly unscientific assumption. If you haven;t had diazepam before you would find an incredibly low dose of 2mg would help. But it is very much a short term solution.

Either way, going back to your GP and saying that the current meds are not fully helping would be the best thing. However re-reading your OP, are you also getting time away from your kids to do stuff for yourself and relax? That in itself is probably pretty important.

That's the thing, I really get very little time away from the kids, and if I do, it's usually filled with either housework or catching up on sleep.

I figure it'll get easier in September when DS starts Nursery, but currently it's absolutely full-on. DS wants all my attention all the time, and DD is into everything so I can't leave her for a second!