Psychs, MH Nurses, Cllrs etc - what is this apt NOW?!

[thatcoldfeeling]

So; I had a year of waiting for counselling after referral for night terrors. Psychologist suggested I have PTSD and referred me, during the wait I attempted suicide, saw lots of the Crisis Team, saw an awful counsellor once, and then finally started counselling with a seemingly helpful counsellor only to be told I get a grand total of 6 sessions.

My eating disorder has got worse since New Year (been going on pretty much forever), and in the last week I have self harmed pretty badly several times to the extent I freaked myself out and thought I was going to die. Told my counselor this week and she called my GP. She said she thinks I need to regularly see a psychiatrist and get eating disorder help and that she would argue this needs to happen with no wait.

My GP asked to see me. He said I was going to see a psychiatrist on Monday and that I would get a letter. Got the letter this morning and it is worded so frustratingly, makes me want to scream, stuff like 'We understand you would like to talk through your difficulties'. I just want someone to help me make everything okay. Googled the person my appointment was with - who also has a name that sounds like a joke rhyming name, and discovered she is a mental health nurse. So, what the heck is this appointment going to actually be for? It said I need to allow an hour and a half :-/

I really want someone to help me, I feel so ill, I feel like I could accidentally kill myself, I can't eat without purging and I feel utterly sick and disgusted at myself for what I have done (rather extreme self harm). I want someone to properly help, I am so scared this will be just another assessment followed by weeks of waiting and I will just be left, I am so scared I will die.

God this post is an embarrassment, nobody even bothers to reply to me on fucking Mumsnet, I get it, I am a disgusting person.

You are not a disgusting person . Your a person whose struggling. Hope someone comes along soon with some great advice. I just didn't want to read and run and to say I really hope things get better for you soon x

Goodness knows what the appointment is for.... maybe you're being given a CPN? Or a care coordinator?

It sucks. I know.

The system is very slow when you feel like you really need it and they refuse to work with you at all until you "get a bit better" often

I find it incredibly frustrating as I wish I could do hours upon hours of intensive therapy and move on with my life rather than 6 sessions here, 10 there, waiting list for a few years and another 5 etc

I hope you get some relief from how you're feeling soon

It sounds like an assessment with the secondary mental health team. The professionals will have different qualifications, but all mental health specialists working closely with psychiatrists. I can't say if you will have a wait, but what I would suggest is that if you are purging by vomiting more than 3 times per week, please get baseline blood tests done by your GP, and these will need repeating. Ask them for details of what to do in a crisis between appointments - this safety plan could be a combination of things you can do for yourself, things friends and family can support you with, helplines and charities, and emergency or crisis care options. Take care

I don't know what geographical area you are in - but in our area, the CPN will be the coordinator of the care that you receive from the team (kind of act as your main point of contact) as psychiatrists etc can be difficult to get hold of on a day to day basis.

The allocated nurse (or named nurse or care coordinator - all terms for the same thing) will help coordinate any other help that you need like access to like the psychiatrist & any other appropriate professions... some (but not all) can also prescribe medication themselves.

The letter is probably really vaguely worded as it is likely a standard letter as admin staff often allocate the appointments not clinicians and they need to cover a wide range of issues that people are referred to.

I'm sorry that this has all set you back - but I hope that the mental health team can give you the support that you need

Hi Im not a mental health expert but it does sound like an assessment if it's with a nurse. What time is your appointment? Can you ring your GP first thing to get some clarification on what the appointment is actually for?

I get what you mean about the wording, it really downplays whats happening with you at the moment. Im sure its not meant to sound like that just really shitly put.

Don't worry about people not replying either, thats no reflection on you! Its all down to the time of day you post and it being on the mental health board which isn't popular.

God I feel even more of an idiot for my outburst at not having MN replies, FFS I really am an idiot.

BrownTurkey - having now googled secondary MH assessments in my area I think you are right, but having read about them I am pretty freaked out.

On the one hand there is lots of frustrating stuff about 'working towards your goals' which is just so patronising (more rubbish wording, I want to be told I will be looked after, that people will help me make things alright), but then scarily lots of stuff about hospitalisation. I'm really scared that may happen because I can't actually keep safe, but I literally can't do that, I am a single parent with no family locally and I think it would be the end of my life. But then again, I have a job, which has previously been the determining factor in assessing me as fine and functioning or suchlike and therefore not actually needing any help really

I am purging most days. I did have a blood test a few days ago but I think it was just to check iron levels as I had quite a lot of blood. IDK, may have also been checking other things, it wasn't that clear and I was distracted in utter humiliation at my disgustingness.

edit *LOST quite a lot of blood - the test wasn't because I had a lot of blood!

Most secondary mental health teams will have an 'access' type sub team which will assess and triage all referrals from GPs etc - in order to determine whether someone needs some signposting only, short term work or longer term work, usually in a recovery team. This assessment would typically be done by the cpn and will hopefully then direct you to the right place.

Sounds very stressful, but hopefully this will be the start of you getting the help you need.

I don't know I can cope with this :(

Oh sweetie, hospitalisation tends to be a situation of last resort, rather than the first. Quite simply, the hospitals don't have the beds, and it sounds like you do have insight into your condition.

The appointment is neither trick nor trap, it's all about you being in control here, no matter how far away from that things can seem. You ARE amongst friends here, some of us have been where you are, some of us the caregiver. I'm the last one to pass judgement: my drug-induced bitching on MN does me no favours. Don't beat yourself up, be kind and please pm me if you'd like

It will hopefully be a good thing. The community mental health teams usually work with psychiatrists and community nurses. Sometimes it’s bettet than the crisis team nurses as although they are also CPN s yiu usually end up seeing quite a few . Your own CPN you can hopefully build up a bit of a relationship with so it’s easier to get the support/ help you need.

Thanks.

I ended up finding reviews of the place I am going today; it has two reviews, both one star, both because they were not taken seriously or given any actual help. So I am back on the 'nothing will happen' side of my 'nothing vs hospitalisation' fears.

@DaviesMum - I don't think I have come across your drug-induced bitching on MN before but I can empathise, I say some really daft stuff on MN sometimes! I hope this is about being in control and I hope the listen to me :(

@Thisimmortalcurl - yes, have seen loads of crisis team nurses. Some I can trust, others less so, so I hope if this person I see today is someone I will see more regularly that I can trust them.

So after all the worry, she referred me to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and a CPN for ongoing support.

Am so angry at myself, I wish I could just pull myself together and be normal and have friends and go out and eat cakes and have fun and stuff :(

Yeah I know the feeling. You didn't ask for it though (the illness) be kind. If it was cancer you wouldn't be angry with yourself for needing chemo...