Sick of MH

[PricklyLegs]

I have PTSD. It's work related and I have undergone counselling. I am still depressed and struggle with anxiety. The doctor upped my ADs to max dosage a couple of days ago.

I'm fed up of this feeling and I feel so guilty that I am a fuckup.

I'm married with 2 kids (7 & 5). I work 30hrs mon fri but work at home for most of that.

Just had an argument with DH as I feel like it's like he thinks because I work from home that I can still do everything in the house.

I run around like a nutter. I take the kids to school, rush home to do my 6 hours before picking them up otherwise I have to log back on to do more work. DH comes home for half an hour every lunch time and I always get a call asking for me to put something in the oven or make a sandwich so it's ready for him.

Take today - dropped kids at school, had to put petrol in the car on the way home, started work, made his lunch in the middle, picked kids up 3.15 rushed home and got them changed to get back to school for the disco at 4 and now I am working again as I owe too much time and I have something important to do and he strolls in late talking about how I need to put the kids in breakfast club tomorrow as he has booked a meeting so he cant drop them at school. Friday is my only day in the office - the only day he said he will take them to school and he cant even do that.

So now I am in floods of tears and I feel so unappreciated and like I am shit.

I am shit.

You most definitely are not shit.
You seem to have many roles here.
He needs to step up regardless of your mh.
He is a parent also.

I'm so tired. This new dosage is taking it out of me.

Maybe he is fed up of my MH problems?

NC fail there but i a the OP

My NC failed i am skittles.

I cant even get this right :(

You most definitely are NOT shit! You are juggling job, home, childcare, an exhausting mental health problem, and also looking after a man child who should pull his weight a lot more to help you.
Try to find a spare minute (yes, I know, lol!), to sit down, assess your life and commitments, and think about what would have to change to make your life less hectic and more enjoyable. It may well mean calmly explaining to your husband that he needs to do more of a fair share, and be more aware of the strain that you are under. Some men just don’t realise how much their wife is coping with, they just take her for granted.
Some of them are also a bit selfish, and don’t offer to do anything without being asked first.
Try to be as specific as possible - not just a vague rant about “You never help”, but a list of which chores he needs to take over, and which behaviours he needs to change. Once you decide, then stick to it. Don’t pick up after him for stuff he’s failed to do - just let him suffer the consequences until he learns.
And try to build in a bit of “Me time” each week, when he holds the fort all on his own, (brave little soldier!) while you go off and enjoy a hobby, or a sleep, or just get away on your own somewhere.
I hope that with time, medication and some support for your hectic life, your mental health will improve, and you will feel happier and less exhausted. Sending a hug, and good luck! God bless.

You are not shit. You are exhausted. Why are you sorting out his lunch? It must really interrupt the rhythm of your day; tell him to make his own sandwich. Better still, make himself a sandwich and take it with him to eat at work.

Thank you - I really thought it was all me who was wrong. I blame myself.

I'll talk to him about jobs around the house. All he does is take the bins out and turn the dishwasher on. He puts laundry away but only if I have asked.

I don't know why I do his lunch - guess I just want to be nice.

I think I do need to look at everything as I feel like I'm drowning. I'm studying law (distance learning) on top of all this and I am just a wreck.

So last night after the kids went to bed I went into our bedroom and started reading. He asked if I wanted some time alone and I said yes. He's slept on the sofa. Feel like shit

Why don’t you talk to him.
Your feelings are very valid. If you don’t you will both build up resentment and possibly ignore each other or bicker over something completely irrelevant.

Go give him a hug and say you would like to talk properly when you both have time.

Be kind to your self.

Sleeping on the sofa strikes me as very passive aggressive. It doesn’t sound like him trying to be helpful, more like sulking. Please don’t take his immature behaviour as more evidence that you are “shit”. It’s not you - it’s him!