Learning to drive with anxiety :(

[SleepyBadger]

Hi

Hope I've started this thread in right place, didn't know where else to put it!

I've been learning to drive for over 6 months now (nearly 50 hours worth of lessons) but suffer with terrible anxiety. Tried learning when I was 17 and was in an accident (as a passenger) which shook me up and never got behind the wheel again...fast forward several years I'm now 32 with 2 kids and pregnant with #3. I really need to drive for lots of reasons, not least not having my license has always made me feel completely useless!

Has anyone else experienced this and struggled? I got in the car with hubby and kids today to drive my daughter to football practice and it was horrendous! Stalling at really easy junctions and struggled to park when we got there. I just freeze and panic and it all goes to pot!

I feel so awful about this I've cried for the last few hours and I feel pathetic even writing this, but hoping there's someone out there who will understand what this feels like and can offer some advice.

Thanks for listening x

I should add I was diagnosed with GAD several years ago by my GP and had a particularly bad flare up after the birth of my 1st child. I was prescribed sertraline but can't take anything at the moment as I'm pregnant

No direct experience of this I'm afraid but my sister is a driving instructor and often works with clients who have anxiety. Do you learn with an instructor?

Maybe it would be better to just drive with an instructor rather than deal with the added pressure of driving with your oh and dcs, all whilst not in a car with dual controls?

Thanks for your reply. Yeah I learn with an instructor too I've just been trying to go out in the family car for practice in between lessons. I'm a lot more comfortable with my instructor....my husband always gets a bit shouty which makes things worse :(

Do you have a friend who drives who could maybe accompany you instead of your husband (someone less 'shouty?' ) Also put L plates on the car if you haven't already, so other drivers should give you a bit more patience (not all do unfortunately, but just ignore those ones!)

Also, is there somewhere you could go to just practice handling the car? Rather than driving TO somewhere, like football practice, because there's more pressure on you to get there on time. Can you go to an industrial estate/big car park etc when it's empty and just practice driving round, pulling away without stalling, etc? My instructor got me to do this when I was learning, and it really helped my confidence. I hated roundabouts, so he took me to a big quiet estate with TONS of roundabouts and we just went round and round them for the hour! Now I'm not bothered by them in the slightest.

I had this too and learning to drive in an automatic car made a huge difference.
But even after passing my test i was still terrified and i felt like i needed my DH with me. Funnily enough the thing that really helped was having to go out and drive on my own. I found it was so much easier WITHOUT my DH because i didn't have someone there criticising me and shouting!
I still get huge anxiety about driving to new places - recently had to take my DD to a birthday party at a place that i'd never been to before. The party started at 4pm and i spent the entire day building up to it in my head, checking google maps etc. So i don't think this kind of thing goes away entirely but i am absolutely fine with everyday driving around town now.
As an added incentive, when my DD draws a picture of a car with a driver, she says it's Mum driving the car and it's so nice to know she thinks of me as a proper driver and has no idea about all the anxiety i have! That makes me feel like a real driver! Ten years ago i never would have imagined it!
Wishing you the best of luck!