Hi, posting this under a pseudonym. This weekend has been miserable with my partner. I've been at home by myself all week, only getting out once to the supermarket, partner has been in work. Sorry this will be long.
Saturday afternoon the weather was gorgeous so I suggested we could do something nice to get out of the house for a bit, but he just had his eyes on his laptop, didn't answer me. Tried suggesting places to go, just got grunts.
Then I suggested that ok, if he didnt fancy going out, could we get the spare bedroom sorted out because it's going to be a nursery. Ignored me again. So I tried to explain I was really bored, needed to get out of the house or do SOMETHING, as I'd read everything I could this week, cleaned the house loads, kept myself busy as much as possible, but now I was going stir crazy. Still just a bit of a nod, not interested.
So I'm starting to get pissed off (he doesn't have to agree with me but it'd be nice if he acknowledged me when I spoke) Then he puts on an audiobook really loud, without asking, so I can't read, can't watch tv or anything. So I text my family/friends to see if they want to go out, no-one responds.
After about half an hour of the audiobook I ask him quite politely if he hasn't got any headphones he can use because I can't read or watch tv or even put the radio on while it's on. He suddenly screams at me that I'm a miserable c**t and throws his laptop on the floor. I'm stunned and upset, start crying.
Anyway we ignored each other for about three hours, until I do dinner, and he giggles his way through You've Been Framed. Then comes and hugs me in the kitchen as if nothing's happened. I told him to get off, and he's like "you still sulking?" so I said "You don't get away with calling me a c**t!" and he just acts like I'm being irrational.
Anyway he starts shouting about how everything is me me me. So I said "you wouldn't call your mother that name, why do you use it on me? why does she get so much respect and I don't?" and he tells me to just f off. Eventually he smokes enough cigarettes to apologise for calling me that word, but I still don't understand why. i don't call him names when we argue.
Then today I suggested we went out again, so we did, and I thought we had a nice time but he wasn't his usual self. Wasn't talking much, not in the mood. I asked him several times what was wrong, he said nothing. We came home, I said I was going to have a nap. I slept for about four hours, came downstairs, made tea and spent another couple of hours on the net (So did he) and watched some tv. Barely spoke to him.
I asked him about half an hour ago if everything was ok, because he just looks depressed and isn't talking. He said yet again he's fine, obviously isn't, so I went over and asked for a cuddle. He then slammed his laptop shut (no, he wasn't looking at anything suspicious, it's nothing like that) threw it on the floor and yells "ffs...." and storms off, slamming the door.
So against my better judgement I follow him and ask what exactly am I supposed to have done?? and he starts shouting that I'm following him and won't give him any space, and I'm smothering and fussing over him. So I'm crying again and he's saying I put the tears on on purpose. (he always says it. It's like he doesn't like me at all)
I said "ok I'll leave you alone" and went back to the computer, but couldn't stop crying (bloody pregnancy hormones) so he comes in and shouts "what are you crying for NOW?" and "everything's always about you isn't it? why don't you go on that bloody website (mumsnet) and have people tell you how I'm all in the wrong, and it's only you who has the right to be upset"
And all I could come up with is "why are you doing this?"
He's snoring away upstairs now, I'm sat here still crying and feeling this is really unfair. He has me at a disadvantage because he knows I won't shout as the walls are paper thin. He shouts and I back down because he's shouting. I just don't understand why he's like this.
Sorry this was so long, just needed to tell someone and if I use the phone (if I had anyone to call) he'll hear. I feel like sleeping on the sofa and then buggering off to my sisters tomorrow for a few days, if she isnt busy.